Movies of Myself

Nude

Last night Patrick and I watched a show on ABC called "XTreme Parents" (yes, Xtreme, as if your parenting should be like some neon-colored sports drink) and in the episdode there was a couple raising their two sons, aged 9 and 15, in a nudist colony. 

It always seems like the most dingy and sloppy people live at nudist colonies, never anyone you'd want to see naked. The 15 year old existed in a veritable cloud of embarrassed awkwardness. He was the outcast in the colony, insisting on being fully-clothed at all times. Remember how dreadful your family seemed to you when you were 15? Imagine if they had their garfunkel hanging out ALL THE TIME.

I also couldn't help thinking, as an XTreme Klutz, how painful life as a nudist would be. The father stood joyfully in front of a grill, flames shooting wildly around an array of burger patties. He has to be grimacing in the sting of a million tiny oil splatter burns, I thought, not to mention the disappointment of overcooked hamburger. The ABC news cameras panned over the colony recreational facilities and lingered on an immaculate tennis court. Dude, how fucking painful would it be to run around smashing tennis balls in the sun with all your bits and bobbles wagging about??

Small Thought - Engagement Horse

Haha, yes, so good:

 

Small Thought - Public Bathroom

So anyone else ever get hyper paranoid that the person in the bathroom stall next to you is gonna stick you in the leg with a hypodermic needle full of sedatives and then take all your stuff, including your pants, so that half the time you're in the bathroom you're just hot stepping back and forth from left foot to right foot like a pony that just saw a corn snake dart into its haybale?

No? Just me?

Great Santa Clara Trash Fest 2012

So did I tell all y'all that the city of Santa Clara has one brief week a year where larger unwanted items that won't fit in your regular trash bins can be left at certain designated curbside areas and the city will come and take it all away? Well, our building and the residents of its environs really got into the spirit of things this year. This horrific hillock of crap was built up in a matter of two days and we're pretty sure that this area isn't a designated disposal site, either.

At least Patrick is pretty sure. He looked it up. And sometimes he walks out into the street and stares at the pile with intense rage for a couple of minutes. I tell him to just forget about because it'll be (hopefully) gone in a day or two. And at least he was in the shower this morning when a couple of people got into a screaming fit (f-bombs and all) over who knows what concerning this trash heap. It was like a scene out of some reality show on A&E. I swear our little street is normally much less trashy, in every sense of the word. 

Street Trash - Tobacco

Sexy and I

For the last twelve hours this has been running continuously through my head. I even sang it to the turtles while I sashayed next to their tank:

Girl look at that body.
Girl look at that body.
Girl look at that body.

I work out.

Someone please punch me hard in the brain. 

Thanksgiving Shrimp

If you guys want to laugh until you are literally crying -- no, not just crying, but weeping, then I suggest you hop on over and read the DIS Magazine's article about the custom printing company Zazzle. 

I'd heard of Zazzle before and was actually one hot minute away from ordering some "The Annual Tran Family Christmas Viewing of Mean Girls" t shirts from them two years ago. But I never knew how completely epic a business it was until now. To wit:

 Oh my god.

Pleeeeeeaaaaase read this article so we can talk about it A LOT.

Mozzarella Sticks

Source: littlemovienerd.tumblr.com via Anne on Pinterest

 

I heartily approve of this. 

One Sunday Morning

Patrick: What?! Why did you post an embarrassing thing about me on Path?

Beckie: It was funny! Look, two people did laughing faces at it.

Patrick: Yeah, but one person frowned at it.

Beckie: That person was you. 

--Yes I use Path now. I quit Facebook and I use Path. It doesn't have as many options but I can talk to my sister and I quite like it.

Something Interesting Finally Happens On Facebook

Or, Cottonball Adams gets served:

C) Shut up you're a dog. 

Ode to my terrible fast food lunch in the car

Snack wrap on my lap.
Simple as that.
I like Sweet & Sour sauce
so shut your damn trap. 

Misheard

This is what I thought they were saying for the longest time:

• Paper View
• Withal do respect
• Dark Vader

New Favorite - Iron Sheik

You guys, I am completely obsessed with the Iron Sheik's twitter. I was never a fan of the WWE and never watched a single minute of it voluntarily, but his rantings are not to be missed.

He is so insane, bizarre, funny and absurd, I can hardly stand it. The Sheik has opinions on politics, celebrities, current events and pop culture. He still has a deep-seated fury towards his old wrestling opponents. There is nothing else like it. I started following him after Andy Richter retweeted this gem: 

And the sheikie has not disappointed. I have to read most of his tweets two or three times before I can discern what he's actually saying, but it's SO worth it.

 

Are You Ready For Some Football

Patrick likes to listen to this horrible local community college radio station. They have a weekly show where they discuss whether vintage surf rock is better than modern surf rock. We once listened to a piece they did with a guest who had collected something like two thousand versions of the song "Louie, Louie" on cassette and he would've had even more except he doesn't own a computer that can download mp3s (?!). I don't this station has ever played one decent song, like not ever. 

Yesterday he tuned into it during their mega avant-garde stream of consciousness "music" show and they played a song that consisted entirely of typewriters in an echo chamber. Normally I would've switched this off so fast the radio tuner knob would've left a burn mark on my fingers but instead I decided to play a silent game in my head: if I could make it through the entire typewriter song, then the 49ers would win the NFC championship game. It was horrific, but I did it. I fully expect a San Francisco victory today. 

Let's go, Niners!!!!!

To Pin or Not To Pin

Now I know I already recommended Pinterest to you guys last week, but I have to tell you that I am extra obsessed with it right now because of a flaw in their design which recently came to my attention. I guess Pinterest hasn't added the ability to delete or edit comments yet, so anything that you write is there forever (or until they enable comment management, same diff.) 

Sometimes this is bad because if, like me, you often use your iPad or phone to look at the site, a humiliating auto-correct that you didn't catch in time will just glare at you in defiance. That's right, maybe you meant to call the picture of puppy "darling" but your clumsy fingers made you call it a "dicknut" in a public forum and now there's no turning back. 

But lately what I've loved most, to the point of distraction, is when people accidentally type search terms into item comments instead of into the search box at the top of the site. It's just so absurdly random, so bizarrely hilarious that I can't get enough of it. To wit:

Buffalo chicken! Sirry! I am dying here.

Favorite Tweets from 2011

To all my Twitter friends - I salute you. You guys make my day almost every day. It took me a little while to warm up to Twitter, but now I adore it. It makes me laugh, brings me keen observations on the news, acts as a wellspring of recipe and craft ideas and is by far my favorite place to interact with people. Facebook got no game compared to Twitter. 

The other thing I love about it is that it provides a condensed timeline of comings and goings, like a bizarro personal diary. When I write my year end review posts I always rely on my tweets to remind me of the year's highlights and lowlights. You can see my favorite tweets from the users I follow over on the site, but here's a few of my best personal observations from 2011:

Food-Themed Songs I've Made Up Recently

• "Hello, Stuffing, My Old Friend" (to the tune of Simon & Garfunkel's "Sound of Silence"

• "Just Another Fish Nugget, Friday" (to the tune of The Bangles' "Manic Monday")

Whiteboard Questions - Favorite Childhood Celebrity

I reinstated the work whiteboard Question of the Week. In this edition, we explore our favorite childhood celebrities. Bonus points for correctly guessing which answer I wrote.

Oh, Daiso

I think you might be doing it wrong.

Love Bubble

So have you guys been seeing the commercials for the latest Twilight movie on t.v.? It’s the crazy one where that boring ass chick gets pregnant with a freak-nasty vampire baby, sexy werewolf falls in lurve with it, the vicious vampire council wants to kill all the things, and then everything goes to shit. (Sorry for the spoilers but if you’re going to see the Twilight movies and not even bother to read those insipid books printed in sixe 87 font before you do it then, okay, you know what, I’m actually not sorry at all.)

The commercials made me remember reading the book and how anticlimactic the ending was when, instead of the gory bloodbath we’d all been anticipating, Bella just ever so conveniently radiated a benign energy forcefield (yes, exactly like a Care Bear Stare), causing the wretched vampire council to go mewling away in an unexpected and even more impossibly boring turn of events. Anyhoo, I began referring to her special forcefield protection powers as “love bubble”. As in, “Dakota Fanning vampire was going to unleash hell, but then Bella did love bubble and everyone just went home”.

I got into the habit of recalling the phrase love bubble at the randomest times and once I did I HAD to chortle. It is love bubble, after all. Even worse, I got into the habit of yowling love bubble in my head every time I made a left turn in my car. This was especially fun if the light was turning yellow when I approached it and I had to bawl it out while trying to take that long curve without reducing my speed, before the light turned red. “Looooooooove bublllllllllllllllllllle!”

On morning last week I was on my way to work, running late and distracted by a dozen other things, when I saw a man in costume standing on the corner of Saratoga and Stevens Creek. I couldn’t tell at first that he was in costume. He was in a perfectly proper button-up suit shirt and slacks. And a paper fox mask. He wasn’t talking or gesturing or even really moving at all. Just once he twitched his head to one side and then back into place. I was subtly gunning it as I drove my car towards him, taking in his situation, that fox face coming closer and closer. My car careened around and straightened itself on Stevens Creek. I lifted my arm and turned the palm towards him, waving and waving with all I was worth. “Love bubble, Mr. Fox,” I breathed into the turn. “Looooooooove bublllllllllllllllllllle,” I howled.

Reasons Why I Suspect That I've Been Watching Too Many Murder Shows

1) The other day I came home from the grocery store with a huge reusable bag full of food plus an additional half gallon bottle of pumpkin-spiced sparkling apple cider that wouldn’t even fit into the bag. I started thinking about lugging that heavy bag from my car to the front door, and what an inconvenient time it would be to get attacked by a knife-wielding assailant. Then I started brainstorming what my most effective reaction would be in case of an assault. Namely, drop the bag, break the bottle against the wall, scream like hell, and slash the attacker forcefully across the balls with the  jagged, crumbling glass edge. Okay, I’ll be over here live-blogging CSI if you need me.

2) A conversation we had this evening after Patrick spoke to a solicitor who came to our home to sell newspaper subscriptions.

b: Why did you even open the door? He was probably a murderer.

p: Because he was a little kid!

b: Oh, like little kids can't be murderers?!? Don't act like they aren't murderers, Patrick.

Real Age

I don't know if I pulled a muscle in my back, or if it was something more sinister and protracted, but I spent most evenings the past week lying on the living room floor. It was the only position where my back didn't protest constantly and insistently that life was not good. 

Needless to say, I didn't take many photos last week. In fact, I only took one, but it was a doozy:

Pottermore Update

During a TV viewing of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:

Beckie: Dang, Harry was burned by Cho Chang. What does he see in her anyways? She's pathetic.

Patrick: Worse than Ginny?

b: No, you can't get much worse than Ginny. Why does Harry have such terrible taste in women?

p: Haha. Who do you think Harry Potter should date?

b: Probably Beyoncé. 

-----.....-----.....-----.....-----

So as some of you may know, I actually received my Pottermore preview member email a few weeks ago and got to take a look at the site. I'm sad to say that, as is, Pottermore is rather dull. I explored it for a couple of days and haven't really looked at it again since.

The main body of the site allows you to navigate through very brief summaries of each chapter of the book (only the first novel, for now, though they do plan to add all the others). Once every few chapters they allow you to read a longer excerpt of additional material about a character or plot point. When I say longer, I only mean a few paragraphs of material.

Other than that, the summaries are supposed to have interactive multimedia areas for you to explore, but they are so small and rudimentary that I can't imagine anyone other than a small child or a person who has had ZERO experience with a computer would be impressed. Also there is no sound, which definitely detracts from the experience. 

There were two activities on Pottermore that were exciting: getting your wand from Ollivander's and getting sorted into your Hogwarts house. 

I was put into Ravenclaw (as I'd expected), Patrick into Gryffindor (cheater) and my sister Audrey into Slytherin (oh really?). 

I very much like the look of the site and I'm glad that Ravenclaw holds on to their slim but steady margin to lead in house points:

But to be honest, there's just not much to do. The controls for a section on brewing potions are very poor. and dueling can only be done against your friends on the site. I know you can't expect much from something that's free, but I was expecting a bit more than this. Since there are links for beta viewers to give feedback on each page, I was dutifully telling them that Pottermore was barely satisfactory. I hope they do change things up a bit. 

Faire or Foul

I’ve only been to the Renaissance Faire three times and enough time passed between each visit that I was able to forget what it’s really like. Patrick and I ventured with our friends over to the Bay Area Ren Faire at Casa de Fruta for the first time last weekend and, once again, I recalled the differences between what I always expect of the Faire and what the Faire actually gives to me.

Before the Faire:

• Splendid costumery! 
• Getting crunk on meads and “cyders” 
• Being able to say “huzzah” and “what, ho!” all day 
• Traditional dancing, shows and music. The clever humor of Shakespeare.
• Neat crafts and fine handiwork

 

After the Faire:

• Mostly people wearing wilted cotton sacks that they bought on eBay and cinched with a dragon belt. Lots of of ladies with horrific cleavage into which they’ve stuck goblets.
• Getting crunk on eight dollar meads and “cyders”. They had totally delish meat pies pyes though.
• Not nearly enough people in chain mail or sexy kilts. Way too many people using the worst English accent you’ve ever heard in your life.
• Due to the proliferation of hay bale seating and unpaved walkways, there is dust everywhere. In your shoes, covering your clothes and hair in a fine layer and, worst of all, swallowed in unpleasant gulps.
• Not even one single stall selling a cool knife.

What Not To Buy For a Six-Year-Old

We attended a birthday party for a six year old this past Saturday and, of course, I didn’t remember until the last minute that I needed a present. In the midst of my dismay I tried to think if there was anything in the trunk of my car that might serve as a suitable present for a child of such an age. I should give him that package of red napkins from the Dollar Tree, I thought. Lol, could there be a more dull present for a little kid? Since then I have been trying to make a list of awful, boring presents for six year olds.

So far I’ve come up with:

• a bag of frozen turkey meatballs

• sensible shoes

• a cd of modern orchestral Christmas music (which incidentally, I also have in the trunk of my car)

• one of those packets they give you at In ‘n Out when you order animal-style fries, which consists of a fork, separate papers of salt and pepper and a handy wipe

• a poster of Gustav Klimt’s "The Kiss"

• certified organic flax seeds

• one of those battery-powered air fresheners that sprays a burst of lavender-scented air whenever anyone passes by 

• ChapStick^TM Classic (original flavor)

Seriously Though, Pottermore

Why is my email invite not here yet?? 

It was over a month ago now that you deemed me magical enough to enter the illustrious realm of Pottermore (along with one million other early viewers, no less). And yet I still haven't received any missives from you telling me to come on down!

My obviously more magical sister, on the other hand, has been on the site for a couple of weeks now. 

Come on, Pottermore. Let me in before further hijinks ensue!

Labor Day Weekend Lols

Ladies and Gentlemen, some funnies for your Saturday:

16 completely insane resumes that may actually be better than yours. I laughed like crazy at most of these and have to admit I'd probably hire most of these people based on sheer creativity.

Catch up with The Chive, won't you?

A little something something for those who are equally obsessed with Lord of the Rings and Mean Girls. There are more of us than you know and the Lol gods treat us well. 

Cheer

Patrick: Hey, what's that cheer that we do? The one about pineapples?

Beckie: First of all, it's "When I say mango, you say pineapple. Mango! Pineapple! Mango! Pineapple!" And second, it's not OUR cheer. It's a McDonald's commercial."

My Sister on the Movies

beckie: Hey did you hear that there's a movie version of Mr. Popper's Penguins?

audrey: Yeah, that was one of my favorite books when I was little!

b: I remember. Too bad the movie stars Jim Carrey.

a: I know. He's just gonna be all herp derp Jim Carrey stupid and then everything will be ruined!

....-----....-----....-----....-----....

a: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Special Extended Edition is playing in theaters next Tuesday!

b: Cool! Are you gonna go? With our cousins?

a: No, some of my friends want to go. They're dork, too, okay?

....-----....-----....-----....-----....

Also, at my relentless insistence, she finally watched Toy Story 3:

Day 13 - A Song That Is a Guilty Pleasure

Some of my favorite guilty pleasures:

a plethora of snacks,

 
lazing around in bed,

and sometimes eating snacks in bed. Usually cake, or maybe cheese, though I've also been known to nom Honey Bunches of Oats there too.

Also, this song:

Dangerous feat. Akon [Explicit] - Kardinal Offishal

From across the room 
I can see it that can't stop myself from lookin'
and noticin' you, noticin, me.
Watch out I seen her type before.

Hahahaha. For some reason, my strongest memory associated with this song is the night before my friends Jen and Ryan got married. The wedding couple and assorted friends and family were scattered about the Half Moon Bay coastal area, gallivanting the night away. At one point a bunch of us decided to head back to the hotel, stuffing ourselves into a minivan which mysetriously had half of its seats removed. I was lucky enough to ride shotgun, but I distinctly remember this song coming on the radio and turning around to see a mess of folks half squatting / half dancing and singing at the top of their lungs:

Girl, I can notice but to 
NOTICE YOU.
NOTICIN' ME!

It was awesome.

Another Day in Paradise

In which Patrick discusses work happenings and I show why I deserve an honorary membership in the Lil' Wayne fan club:

An L.A. Weekend in Pictures

I'm right in the midst of a DSLR-free month. That's right, 30 days without my Nikon in tow, so I'm itching to snap away but must convince myself to just chill out and enjoy my surroundings instead. I spent last weekend in L.A. at two graduations and it really made me realize how often I hide behind the lens. I ended up talking and interacting with people a lot more and not stressing out about getting a great shot. I did miss my camera an awful lot, but I managed to get capture a few fun moments on my camera:

My mom and I hamming it up at Party City. They were all out of air horns but all was forgiven because of this tropical cutout glory.

My high school has been completely renovated since I graduated. It looks awesome. One of the things they've added, which I think is super cool, are mosaics of floor tiles in the main quad which have the engraved names of every student in every previous graduation class. It looks really neat and, hey - there's me! My sister wants me to add that if you look back to the tile for one of the classes in the '50's, you'll find someone named "Dick Downer". 

I ate some delicious food on this trip including:

dim sum,

donuts,

and more donuts! Fresh strawberry donuts from Donut Man in Glendora are irresistible. We stood around a wooden bench about fifteen feet from the pickup window and destroyed these in a manner of minutes. I think the only words we were capable of speaking during those minutes were, "so good. oh my god, SO good."

Then there was the saga of the 50 piece nuggets. FIFTY McDonald's chicken nuggets for $9.99. Holla.

My cousin supplemented his share of nuggets with a custom sandwich. Here he is assembling his unfortunately-named McGangBang (a McChicken shoved inside of a McDouble). I tried a bite and it was surprisingly good. 

My sister took me to a fun new candy and soda shoppe in Old Town Pasadena called Rocket Fizz. Of course I loved it. 

The Biebs loves it.

Tighty Whities Squirrel loves it.

They sell European Cheese Kit Kats there. What could possibly go wrong??

So yep, I had a great time, though it was impossibly packed and it did take me 3 1/2 hours to drive to San Diego one day. Peace out, L.A.

Cheesy Poofs

365 - 135
May 15th, 2011

Hockey game snacks. Keeping it real classy.

TGIF

365 - 130
May 10th 2011

It's only 8 a.m. here and I can already tell this day is gonna be a doozy. Literally counting the minutes until the weekend is here! Hope you guys have a good one.

Naughty Girl - Beyonce

The Amazing Sounds Of Orgy - Radiohead

Cut My Life Into Peaches

There is a shady nightclub about a mile from where we live located in a strip mall across from Super Kyopo Korean Market and a Kaiser Permanente. They have a Persian Ladies Night there every second Wedensday and, every so often you'll see an upcoming act on their billboard and think "oh, so that's where they are now". I'm talking about musicians the likes of Afro Man and Alien Ant Farm. 

Last week on our way to Tia Juana Mexican Grill we saw that Papa Roach would be playing a set there soon. Of course that made me think of this and then I died laughing:

Hummingbird

365 - 114
April 24th, 2011

I put a hummingbird feeder up and for an entire week not a single birdy soul appeared at its base. I think its unfortunate location behind a large stand of jasmine bushes kept it sem-hidden for a while. But then one day a single hummingbird appeared, alighted on the feeder and took a tentative sip before careening away. Fuck yeah, we have a hummingbird! "Tell all your friends about this," I yelled after him. "Give us a good review on hummingbird Yelp!"

I think he did. Not only did this bird return, but a number of others now come regulary for our nectar. Sometimes they come at the same time, resulting in hummingbird beatdowns galore. Every day I watch the sugar water level go down steadily. It's kind of amazing.

Spring Craft Day

365 - 106
April 16th, 20`11 

I had the girls over during the weekend for an afternoon of Easter crafts and fun. We decorated eggs, made lollipop flowers, watched four episodes of the PBS show Arthur and painted some flower pot picture frames. They helped me feed the turtles and we saw some hummingbirds visit my outdoor feeder.

I also got the girls some adorable Easter puppets and they put on some puppet shows for me. My favorite storyline involved a high stakes game of roshambo between the chick and the rabbit who were haggling over the ownership of a cache of eggs and candy. 

365 - 81

In the Corner
March 22nd, 2011

Pictured here is the most contentious corner of our home. Meet Sexy Lamp and Bonemeal. 

Bonemeal is my Pakistani sword, bequeathed to me by my friend John. It is a full five feet long and is probably heavier than a medium-sized child. Patrick wants to move Bonemeal out of display capacity and have us start "training" with it instead, even though I have trouble even lifting it above knee level. Bonemeal also has an engraving of a griffon assaulting a unicorn and is pretty much amazing. 

Sexy Lamp, on the other hand, is rather the bane of my existence. IMO, she is peculiar, uncouth and, let's be real here, kind of fugly. She stands out like a sore, curvacous, softly-lit thumb. Yet Patrick is sentimentally attached to this lamp, for reasons which I can not quite grasp, and he will not entertain the idea of replacing it for now. 

My one great hope at this point is that Bonemeal will take a serendipitous pitch forward into Sexy Lamp and end all of our issues once and for all.

365 - 76

Sock it to Me
March 17th, 2011

Why, Safeway? Why??

My Sister's Camera

Patrick and I are heading down to L.A. tonight for a baby shower for one of my dearest friends. Hopefully we will get to see my crazy little sister, too. It's going to be a weekend full of fun and laughter and good times. I can't wait.

Cheesy Fries

Another classy night at home with me:

365 - 42

Pedo
February 11th, 2011

I spotted this in the parking lot at work. I got quite the chuckle out of it too until I realized that my work is across the street from an elementary school :() 

Super Bowl XLV Recap

Okay, I was really looking forward to the Super Bowl this year so I wanted to put my two cents in.

• Black and Yellow vs. Green and Yellow - All the way up until gametime I wasn't sure who I was rooting for. The pros and cons for both teams were endless. Lil' Wayne loves Green Bay and he just put out that "Green and Yellow" song. But damn, they use french fries as a sandwich topping in Pittsburgh. Now that's what I'm talking about. On the other hand, I really like to eat cheese of all kinds!  Bottom line, I've actually been to Pittsburgh and I'm a long-time Steelers fan. My interest in them especially increased after the 49ers decided to become agonizingly terrible. But Aaron Rodgers, the QB for the Packers played some good years for Cal (go Bears!) and so I was really pulling for him, too. 

• Only one dude with long flowing locks can have the power and in this game it was not Troy Polamalu. Clay Matthews stole all his Pantene mojo. Why does Matthews look like a Viking warrior woman? It's the Super Bowl, not the Battle at Helm's Deep. 

• I made an onion dip to end all onion dips. Bacon Bourbon Sweet Onion Dip. I could eat this stuff by the gallon. Just saying:

• Black Eyed Peas - Worst live act ever, maybe. Why the hell do they not dance? If ever there were a band that should, ahem, pump it, it is the Black Eyed Peas. They can barely "sing", they play ZERO instruments and they can't even two step? Dude. The only decent part of the entire halftime show was when Usher came and broke. it. down. In an all white snowsuit from future, no less. Flip dive into full splits?!? Usher makes me say oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, oh my god. 

• I was very disappointed by the commercials. I think the only halfway decent one was the Snickers ad with Richard Lewis, but that had nothing on last year's bit with Betty White. P.s. Dear ad execs: aliens don't want to drive Kias. And jive-talking babies are creepy.

• The Packers took advantage of every little thing that went their way, even the smallest of opportunities. And they took every setback completely in stride. Charles Woodson's injury? Yeah they turned that thing into a source of inspiration. They didn't panic when Pittsburgh made their run. They just got the job done. That's some good shit. And that's some great football.

A Different Kind of Intruder

via pleatedjeans.files.wordpress.com

I'm so sorry, but I had to.

365 - 31

Inspiration
January 31st, 2011

Yeah, I did add The Dude Who Invented Honey Bunches of Oats to my Facebook llist of People Who Inspire Me. Why are you looking at me like that's not the greatest thing ever??

365 - 23

Nickelodeon New Year
January 23rd, 2011

All Nickelodeon craft products were 70% off at Michael's last week so I picked up this Ni Hao Kai Lan paper lantern kit so we could have something to hang up for Chinese New Year (which is rapidly approaching!) Now, I've never seen this Ni Hao Kai Lan show but, while I'm all for positive Asia representation in the media, I've never been much of a fan.

See, Kai-Lan (or Gai Lan as we say it in the Cantonese) is the word for Chinese broccoli, and it is just so weird for this little girl to be called that. The literal translation of the show's title is "How are you, Broccoli?". What the eff?? It would be like if your kids watched Rutabaga the Explorer. Or if the Sesame Street characters were all named after produce. Beet and Endive. Chickpea Monster. Okra the Grouch.

365 - 15

White Butts
January 15th, 2011 

I have to admit that I laughed inordinately hard when I saw this old produce crate label at a museum. Hopefully you all had a similarly whimsical and fun-filled weekend!

Bonus goofball 365 outtake:

365 - 12

Initials
January 12th, 2011

elysa (who is 6 years old): Auntie Beckie, what does your ring say on the side of it?

beckie: Oh, it has Patrick's and my initials carved on it. P. D. + B. T.

e: What's his last name?

b: It's Dutcher.

e: Some people sure have weird last names.

b: Well, it's because people come from so many different countries in parts of the world where they speak different languages.

e: Oh, yeah. I guess God made a lot of countries. Do you know God? Jesus's dad?

b: I've heard of him.

e: There's this weird thing, a mystery. Maybe you can help me solve it. So I heard that God was 90 years old, right?

b: Okay.

e: And then someone told me that the Buddha is 500 years old. But if God made everything, how did the Buddha get made before him?

b: You know, I'm gonna have to check those numbers out and get back to you. I'm not sure I have enough information to give you an answer just now.

e: Okay, good. Let me know what you find out. I'm going to check the answer in my Bibles but I don't know if I can answer it either. I have a regular Bible that's too hard and I have a toddler Bible. I can read the toddler one. It has stories but it doesn't say anything about what land everyone owns.

b: Sounds good. I have a couple of Bibles, too.

e: Alright. Check it out and we'll meet back up later to talk about it.

The Sniff and Snuffle

I really, truly simply cannot get enough of this:

via www.marriedtothesea.com

365 - 8

Super Puzz 
January 8th, 2011

Super Puzzle Fighter Turbo 2. Felicia vs. Felicia. May the best Felicia win!

This game rules so hard. Or maybe we should say I rule this game so hard. I can play it happily for hours, and whenever I see it at the arcade I'm all like

Oh hot damn, this is my jam.
Keep me partying till the A.M.
Ya'll don't understand, make me throw my hands
In the ayer, ay, ayer, ayer, ay, ayer.

In the Ayer - Flo Rida (feat. will.i.am)

Season's Greetings!

Watch video on JibJab!

Merry Christmas, everyone! I hope that those of you who celebrate are safe and happy with family and friends. Let this be a time of hope, joy, peace and helpful contemplation. Happy holidays and love to you all.

I Do Not Care For The Winter Sun - Beach House

Christmas in Harlem - Kanye West 

Last Christmas (Wham cover) - Florence and the Machine

Christmas Wrapping (The Waitresses cover) - Summer Camp