Movies of Myself

Charming

Oh sweet fricking Jesus, Tord Boontje makes jewelry now?

This is all four sets of the available laser-cut charms worn together. Darlings, I am swooning swoons.

Doing my best for the economy.

Okay, so a little over a week ago I mentioned salivating over this pretty, pretty Anthropologie "Alondra" blouse:

  

I held off from completing the purchase because $118 seemed a wee bit steep for a yellow shirt. I adore the color, but look terrible in it; all jaundiced and splotchy and on-the-verge-of-retching. But this blouse is so 100% me that I knew I'd succumb eventually. Just look at that pretty bird embroidery on the back!

I've been checking the page every couple of days for the last month and last night (finally!!) the price suddenly dropped down to a much more pleasing $59.95. That's almost 50% off, suckas!! Bitches ain't shit! Now, I know I shouldn't be this excited to still be paying sixty dollars plus exorbitant shipping fees for a shirt, but that's just how much I love this thing. Plus I had an Anthro gift card burning a hole in my pocket. Mama knows when to hit and quit it, ya heard?

Clumsy

Things I knocked over today with my new (larger than I'm used to but totally awesome) purse:

• two heads of organic broccoli

• a stack of books about world religions

• an unfortunately open bag of Chewy Lemonhead & Friends

• a leaning tower of Trader Joe's brand Airborne

• your block

• maybe your mama's block, too

Oh, Girl

I have fallen seriously in love with these Camper shoes. I've avoided buying pink stuff for a while, I'm not sure why. But it's so pretty to me lately, specifically soft, delicate rosey shades. I've been feeling very girltastic this week. This probably calls for a tea party of some sort.

Pink Batman - Dan Deacon

Toy Story

Okay, these toys? I'm not really allowed to have them.

I cannot embark down the road of any "collect them all" set. Especially when it involves blind assortments. Sooner or later (usually sooner) I look around and realize I've spent two hundred dollars trying to finish a ten piece collection of, like, tofu blocks dressed in costumes from around the world. I wonder what I would do if I ever did get a complete set of something. My guess is, same thing as I do with these toys now: tuck them into a bedside drawer that is full to almost bursting with knicknacks. Normally I have to seriously drag myself away from these things.

However, because I'm a huge fan of Heidi Kenney's work, I had no qualms picking up one of her Kidrobot-produced Yummy Breakfast keychains. They're all impossibly cute, but I think my little cracked egg is the greatest. As you can see, my minimal self-restraint led to the acquisition of a Friends With You "Wish Come True" blind box as well as something from the Kidrobot Adult Swim Mini Series.

Which is how I now find myself the proud owner of a tiny model of Assy McGee. Come on. Assy McGee, you guys. An angry, violent, clinically depressed exposed buttocks. Who is an alcoholic as well as a cop. Is it possible for toys to get better than this? I think NOT. Assy McGee is the law.

Shopping Cart Update

So I ended up buying two bags of Martha Stewart Noel Nut Ball Mix from the list of oddities in order to get the free shipping at Macy's. The rest of the purchase was one of the gifts I sent my mom for Mother's Day. On Monday I got an email from Macy's basically stating: Not Shipped Yet: Other Stuff. Shipped: Two Bags of Martha Stewart Nut Ball Mix.

Oh god, yes. That means the packages are arriving separately, NUT BALLS FIRST. I cannot wait to see what happens when my mom thinks that all I sent her for Mother's Day is two packs of Christmas Nut Ball Mix.

I know, how could I NOT choose the Nut Balls.

Things which I can choose from in order to have at least $100 of merchandise in my shopping cart to qualify for free shipping from macys.com (I am currently at $97.46):

• Fiestaware Chili Bowl in Peacock
• Martha Stewart Collection Noel Nut Ball Mix, 2 bags (they're on clearance for $1.24!)
• The Weather Channel Wireless Temperature Station
• Lilly Pullitzer "Pineapple Promenade" Toothbrush Holder
• Conair Sound Therapy Machine including "Thunderstorm" and "White Noise"
  
• Large Solid Milk Chocolate Hen
• Hannah Montana Fashion Doll, comes with microphone
  

See how the mainsail sets.

Confession: I have such a weakness for all things nautical.

I even used to own a pair of deck shoes and I wore them with absolutely no sense of shame. Or irony: I can't even swim and I've been inordinately scared of riptides ever since I took a class at Cal called Geography, The Ocean World.

The sea is endlessly fascinating, and numerous recent visits to the beach have drawn me to its romantic grandeur and made jaunty striped shirts extremely appealing. Ahoy.

Sloop John B - The Beach Boys

   

Don't You Leave Me Here

This installment of product picks is wholly inspired by Don't You Leave Me Here, the Matthew Woodson print which I saw over on decor8 and fell madly and instantly in love with. That poignant and gorgeous piece, as well as this wonderful little print, are purchased and making their way to me right now, and I can't wait. There is some amazing art over at Thumbtack Press and I really urge you to click your way over their if you are looking for something unique and beautiful.

I'm also about three seconds away from pre-ordering one of those special edition Diana Lomo cameras, but since it's taking me an average of six months to finish a roll of film in the Supersampler, I'll have to think about it further. The clock's ticking on my Polaroid film right now.

I must have this dress.

Do you know how much I adore this Marc by Marc Jacobs dress with its little leaves/acorns shaped like hearts? With its big bright yellow buttons? With that little bit of tucking on the sides? There's just something so innocent and playful about it and I can see myself wearing it this summer and each one following for years. I'm trying to focus now on buying a LOT less, so those things will have to be great quality and much loved. This dress certainly fits the bill.

Sunny Neutrals

More of the things that I'm coveting, slapped together with Polyvore. Mostly neutrals with a light lemony splash of yellow. I'm so confused lately by the constantly varying cool/warm weather. I think it definitely calls for that ensemble on the left. Though what I'd actually do with a gold trench coat is beyond me.

Some of the things I want for Spring.

Why, oh why, am I spending my time playing around with the magnificent timesuck that is Polyvore instead of doing my work?

I guess I'm just cursed with Procrastinationus Maximus. If it wasn't this fun, easy to use collage site, it would be something else. This poorly laid out collection showcases some things which I think are fun for the season. You can tell it's still early Spring yet, because the palette is so muted for this self-confessed color whore. Perhaps I'll do a collection of band t-shirts I want next. 

Diddam's

So a couple of weeks ago Chris and I were going to have dinner at Curry House in Cupertino when we drove past a store on De Anza called Diddam's*. "WHAT is Diddam's?," I demanded. The shop was small and looked packed to the gills with stuff. It had a sign that said "Specials 39 cents" on the front window. Also, it was called Diddam's. I wanted it bad.

Last week I ventured into the spacious environs of the newest San Jose branch and discovered that Diddam's is actually a new South Bay chain of party and toy stores. I was only able to explore for 20 minutes before the store closed, so I'll definitely be back. It's pretty frickin' awesome. Cool things I saw there:

• Aisles and aisles of those useless junky toys that you put into kids birthday party loot bags. Slime hands, plastic dinosaurs, musical instruments that break after two plays, tiny fake money. I heart that crap.
• Sea Monkeys In The City. It had neon buildings.
• Harry Potter glasses.
• Jordan almonds in lots of colors.
• A sizable Sanrio selection!
• A lifesize cardboard cutout of Aragorn from Lord of the Rings. I want to have my picture taken with him.
• Playmobil. I was so excited to see a little rack of the new Fairy World sets. Then I rounded the corner to come upon an entire huge wall of the blue boxes. Oh my word. When I saw this my heart almost stopped, I was so overwhelmed with delight. They even had the Roman Arena I'm so smitten with.
  

*Their crazy website is worth a view for the online costume center alone (WARNING: clowns). It has a category called "TV Characters of the 80's" in which the only costume right now is Mangum P.I.

Eee!

That pretty little thing sitting with my iMac? That's my new Asus Eee PC! In fact, I'm typing this on the Eee right now.  The keyboard took a few days to get used to but once my fingers acclimated themselves to the smaller configuration I was good to go. I'm kind of in love with it at this point.

I'd had my eye on this micro laptop for months. I wanted something super portable, light and simple to take out to Starbuck's or Border's for nighttime writing sessions. Weighing in at just two pounds, the Eee is about the height and thickness of a typical paperback book and comes ready to connect to any open wifi network, easy as pie. The reviews were impressive and It seemed perfect for me but I held back because I'd never seen one in person.

So you can imagine my utter delight when Chris gave me this pink Eee for Valentine's Day. Jumping up and down and Mr. Burn's finger motions were involved, i think. I've taken my new little baby out and about all week and I couldn't be happier. Keep in mind that the Eee isn't meant to be anyone's primary computer, or even their primary laptop, really. The seven inch screen isn't an ideal viewing area for most applications or websites and the touchpad area could be improved. Luckily I've got an extra Mighty Mouse and I try to use it with the Eee whenever I'm at a tabletop.

For my intents and purposes it's ideal. The Linux system is super easy to work with. The laptop itself is very sturdy. It gets about three hours of battery life.  It fits into my bitchin' Snack Detective Pudding and Jelly lunch case. And get this—it came preloaded with a game called Frozen Bubble which is exactly like Bust a Move. Much style.

Flower in a Hailstorm

This whole Thing a Day venture had me worried at first. I wasn't sure I'd have a month's worth of different creative projects in me that didn't involve learning a ton of new skills or buying a lot of equipment. But now I see it's gonna be a snap to find interesting tasks; they spring up by themselves all the time.

For Day One I ended up completing a sewing project out of nowhere. A few weeks back I'd scraped up the littlest toe on my right foot. It blistered and has never quite healed because my shoes rub against it every day. At the end of last week I was down to one pair of shoes which didn't make my feet cry after a day at work:

Which was all well and fine because somehow they go with most of my clothes, but they were really starting to look worse for the wear. It's been raining every day and downtrodden velvet flats + flooding = I'll probably get pneumonia. While I was at Target checking out their new Converse One Stars I spotted some elastic band flats that looked exactly like a big Ace bandage. Wrapping my feet with suede-lined ankle brace material sounded too good to pass up. I picked up a chocolate brown pair.

When I got home and actually looked at them, away from the agonizing pain of standing up in real footwear, I realized they were hideous. Not in an overt way, but definitely in a stubby, mousey, orthopedic way. However, they feel like walking on fricking sunshine. I wasn't gonna give up on them. So I set aside my intended project and tried to doll these babies up a little.

Not a night and day improvement, but my immediate thought when I look at them isn't "ew" anymore so I consider this mission accomplished.

What they wear in fairyland.

A month and a half ago my beloved James Jean mentioned that he'd done a grip of designs for Prada's Spring 2008 line, news which I greeted with virtual backflips of excitement. The recent Fables covers have been cool as ever, and the line was woodland nymph/fairy themed. Hot--James Jean's otherworldly drawings of the Fables ladies are incredible.

Now that I've actually looked at the runway images of the collection I'm a little unsure:

This dress is probably my favorite of the lot and while it's ethereal, graceful and cool it just doesn't capture the completely breathtaking beauty of Jean's work. So the clothes: hm. But the handbags. To die for.

I'm usually not a proponent of spending of spending over $2000 on a purse for myself; I tire of things way too quickly, and I don't take proper care of luxury goods. But damn if these shimmery deerskin bags don't have my heart all aflutter even if the last thing I'd spend my dinero on right now would be a fancypants purse. The Internet, if you would like to send one of these ravishing, exceedingly expensive, limited edition, they're not even taking pre-orders for them, oh my god it's a James fricking Jean purse I want one so bad handbag my way, that would be just smashing of you.

It's a Wash

Look! I bought Poo:

And Body Boosting Poo, at that. To elaborate, it was Kusco Murphy shampoo, on mega clearance. Someone over at Pure Beauty must be bored out of their minds. Who abbreviates shampoo as "poo"? Someone utterly absurd and awesome, that's who.

Heart of Glass

I haven't been thrifting in ages, but this week I'm working on a project that calls for the sourcing of lots of decorative objects, so it was the perfect opportunity to also look around for additions to my milk glass collection. Didn't have much luck in that department; the only decent piece I found was a little rectangular ashtray with fun little milky bubbles all over it.

I did manage to score lots of cute little porcelain ephemera, some marvelously delicate Noritake cups and saucers, cool apothecary jars and, oh my goodness, this:

This photo does this little flower bowl absolutely no justice. The edges wave in and out to little points like the soft crinkle of real petals. Hundreds of fluid corrugations score the underside, creating the most marvelous texture and allowing for beautiful shadows on the wall and on the tabletop, all leading to the center, eight graduated concentric circles made up of smaller circles. I fell in love with it the instant I saw it on the shelf. It's at once dazzlingly simple and complex. At a glance it's just a clear glass bowl, but there's so much going on underneath.

A gift that keeps on giving.

I received my first Christmas present last night. A little early, but not unreasonably so. And it scared me to bits.

The actual gift wasn't scary (it was a certificate for Watercourse Way, yay!). But it reminded me that I have yet to buy a single Christmas present, even though the 25th is less than a week and a half away. I am still sitting here twiddling my thumbs, making my list and checking it twice and then losing the list in a pile of magazines and having to start a new one thinking, damn, what was it that I wanted to get the Pod again?

Well, luckily, I discovered a great online store a few days ago called Supermarket which offers a nice collection of decently priced items from mostly independent designers. They've got a bunch of things I've seen and admired on the design sites this year: ferm LIVING wall stickers, CMYK socks, the most kickass accessories from KidViskous, and the Furni clocks which stoke my timepiece fetish. Delightful gift ideas abound!

Not the least of which is this magnificent ring from designer VeraMeat that I would love to get for everybody; a paragon of design:

It is a DINOSAUR eating a FRIED CHICKEN DRUMSTICK ring. Which I think might be the greatest piece of jewelry I have ever heard of, ever. I would like to open a museum that is one room with a single display case showing off this ring. Because it is a dinosaur. Eating fried chicken.

I need a new mousepad.

Dear Nelly mousepad that I bought at the 99 cents store from the era in which you always wore the band-aid on your face,

I might have to get rid of you. I'm sorry. I know you still work okay. Sure, your surface is oddly textured and you don't have ergonomics or any other frills. But you do your job.

I just wish you didn't demand pimp juice all the time. And must you keep asking the mouse to take off all its clothes? Dude, the Mighty Mouse doesn't cotton to that.

And for the love of god, please stop telling all my friends and business contacts that you really like "how they fit in them pants"! It's so awkward.

Yours,

b

Lists Week! Day 5 - Well, hello.

Top Five things I Bought At Sanrio This Week:

1) This notepad with Hello Kitty doing a faceplant. Omg.

2) A second Hello Kitty Faceplant notepad. Come on. Look at it. You can't have only one of these.

3) Inexplicable Hello Kitty Egg Coin Purse Keychain.

4) Deery Lou by Momoberry wallet. Yesss!!

5) Lucha Libre Superhero Kitty. With the barbells of love.

Body Massage

I want to go to the spa. In particular, I'd like to go to the VIP spa room at this spa, the Mandarin Oriental in New York city. I mean, just look at it! There's a private steam room on the other end. Too bad it costs $1700 for two people to get massages and chill in there for four hours on a weekend day.

b: How can this cost over 400 dollars an hour?
n: What? That's ridiculous.
b: It is fancy though. There's numerous sitting areas.
n: Is that a fireplace or a fishtank in the middle of that wall?
b: I think so.
n: Woah, that's straight up Deuce Bigalow style.

Hole

Was it only four months ago that I was salivating at the thought of a Daiso store opening up in San Jose? Apparently, I said I couldn't wait. Well, I was lying. No, wait. I really am glad that there's a Daiso as close as South San Jose (and soon to be on in Cupertino, as well). So I wasn't lying. I was just dumb.

This place is gonna be the death of me. There isn't a single item in there that you actually need, but so much of it is either so cute or so funny that you can't resist. The fact that almost everything is only $1.50 makes it infinitely worse. "It's only $1.50", I think as I throw a felt hedgehog picture frame into my basket. 'Will this paper sumo game bring me $1.50 worth of happiness?', I wonder. Apparently, I thought 'yes'.

My greatest weakness is still the gift-wrap department. Despite my aspirations to stop using disposable paper and plastics as much as possible, I'm just weak-kneed for unique and pretty packaging. The quality and the quantity of wrapping material they have here is outstanding. Everyone who's gotten a present from me lately has also been the lucky recipient of a box or bag from Daiso, usually imprinted with some bizarre Engrish phrase. Stellar example:

I was excited to pick up this bag. It's got cool ribbon handles and it's big. "Absorption attention isn't too crazy," I thought. There's even almost something existential about it. Imagine my surprise when I got home and was packing it away and caught a glimpse of the infinitely awesome other side:

Why???

Nut Bar

So M tells me that Lucky Supermarket is back. And back with a vengeance. They're re-taking over all the Albertsons stores. Albertsons straight-up got served. "Does that mean they got divorced?" M wondered. "I think so," I replied dolefully. "I never thought they would last."

I always lamented the total disappearance of Lucky's, which is the local store i grew up with, after it got married to Albertsons a few years ago. I don't know if you remember the ads for that. It was obviously a marriage of convenience, produced to mask Albertsons hostile takeover. But they did have a cake.

It's too bad I am so enamored of our newly-remodeled neighborhood Safeway. At first I cursed the refurbishment. The store became massively unorganized and impossible to navigate. It also seemed wasteful. The market was five years old at the most. Why did it need a facelift so soon?

Now I can see why. The new store has a Nut Bar. That's right, a nut bar. A big circular stand where you can choose from a wide array of flavored nuts and even grind your own fresh nut butters. Fresh honey-roasted peanut butter. Fresh cashew-almond butter. You can even fill your own honey bears. And the bread loaves in the bakery section? They've got a deli machine that slices them into whatever thickness you like. There's twelve widths to choose from. It's ridiculous, really.

Bring Your own Bag

Do you guys know they banned plastic grocery and shopping bags at all the big chain supermarkets and pharmacies in San Francisco? This happened back in March and the stores have between six months and a year to get compliant.

I'm not sure how this will affect us down in the South Bay, but I hope that the legislation goes into effect down here, too. I sincerely wish this would become the norm all across the U.S. I switched over to reusable bags at the beginning of June and it's been great. I was afraid that I'd forget to bring them to the store, but I just place them by the door after I unload my groceries and so they're almost always in the car, ready for any impromptu stops I make.

If you're not ready to bring your own bag, I urge you to at least reuse the ones you actually get. I don't think I've bought a trash bag in years. All my trash gets taken out in old grocery bags. We've been conditioned here in North America to the idea that groceries can only be transported in disposable plastic or paper bags, when any backpack or tote will do the job just fine; you don't need to buy something new. But just in case you do want to, and you don't want to throw down a ridiculous $100+ on eBay for the Anya Hindmarch "I'm Not a Plastic Bag" here's some other options:

• Dimpla bag from Ikea:

This is the bag I use and I can't recommend it enough. Oversized, so I usually need just one, two max. Sturdy as hell and wipes clean easily. And they're only $1.50 each!

 

• Envirosax

 

The best thing about Enivrosax besides the gorgeous designs is that they're super portable. 5 of these waterproof bags can be rolled up and stored in a carrying case that can fit in your glove compartment. $33 for the set.

• B. Happy Bags
  

B. Happy makes the prettiest bags! Lots of different fabrics to choose from. Machine-washable. $20-25 each.

• The News Bag from CB2

Recycled newspapers transferred onto recycled plastic, so each bag is a little bit different. The longer strap is also ideal for those who walk to and from the store. $12.95

• World Food Programme Feed Bag

This wonderful burlap tote is reversible and has several handy pockets. But, best of all, it benefits the U.N. World Food Program. According to Amazon, "buying one World Food Programme Feed Bag feeds a child in school for one year". $60 each.

Hello Kitty tells me what to do.

I think everyone should know by now what a Hello Kitty freak I am. My Hello Kitty love comes in peaks and valleys and I am currently in a peak. But damn, babies, there are just so many cute Hello Kitty products!! What's a girl supposed to do?

The most awesome Sanrio thing I've come across lately is the Hello Kitty Psychological Tests (yes I do snort in gleeful derision every single time I even think about that title) available at sanriotown.com. Every single one of these quizzes is baffling, and obviously has absolutely NO value where psychological assessment is concerned. But they're a freaking riot and I love how harsh, malevolent and bizarre the evaluations are:

• I have low self esteem: from the "Speculative Fiction" test,  "You feel bad about your personality. In another word, you only see your shortcomings and ignore your advantages."
• I have severe depression: from the Gift Wrapping Test: "You are very emotional and cannot control yourself...Once you encounter some hardship, you would think of yourself as the main character of a tragic story, and allow yourself to fall into the saddest mood."
• I make poor relationship choices: from the What Kind of Man is Right for You Test: "Men that are a little sad and a bit evil attract you the most. It's actually hard for you to find simple happiness, because at the end, only bad boys can satisfy all your needs. You even feel excited if you were mis-treated...because then you feel like the main character in a tragedy." Hmm, I'm sensing a trend here.
• I'm funny?: from the What Type of Artist Are You Test: "You are born to be Comedian...But you should also be elastic. You should be able to dress in all type: boys, girls, elderly, pig and dog."
• I AM A BITCH: from the Hello Kitty Goods test: "It is virtually impossible for you to care for others. For example you would probably eat and drink next to a friend who is on a diet, or you would share your romance with a friend who just broke up or some other insensitive things like such...those around you would probably think you are a “self-centered” and evil person.

Hello Kitty is such a HATER.

Go take some of these tests and let her tell you what to do. (The What Historical Figure Are You Test is especially awesome.)   

This is 25X better.

One of my main goals this past weekend in L.A. was to visit John and see how his surgery recuperation was going on. Gots to make sure he's keeping it real, what with the having to go back into the hospital numerous times in past couple of weeks and such. I'm very happy to report that he's looking quite well, shockingly well (knock on wood) for someone who just went through such a major operation.

I think a lot of his improvement can be attributed to the seriously awesome gifts I came bearing. The gift of Transformers. Plush, transformable Softimus Prime and his cohort, Slumblebee. A previously glorious gummi Optimus which had completely melted into an unrecognizable pile of goo in the 90+ degree weather we had in the Bay Area last week. And the best Transformer ever: Zoom Out 25X.

Reasons Zoom Out 25X is the Best Decepticon (yes, even better than Soundwave, the boombox that has the little cassettes that spy for him):

• His motto is "Watch, Wait, Annihilate"
• His name is Zoom Out 25X. Oh my god. Zoom Out 25x. That's his name.
• He's a video camera with a flip-out screen which perpetually shows Optimus Prime's head. The "current" length of the recorded film? 7 minutes, 47 seconds. John looks at this and explains, "that's because the Transformers movie comes out on July 4th '07" Then he looks the robot toy straight in the eye and scoffs, "I already cracked your secret code, fucker."
• Check out the narrative on the back of the packaging:

ZOOM OUT 25X is inhumanly patient. He’ll wait for days or weeks in his camera mode without moving or making a sound, just to get the perfect shot of you doing something you shouldn’t. Then, using his editing features, he’ll alter the video to be as embarrassing as possible. He doesn’t do this because it’s his mission or anything – he just likes to cause trouble.

1. Okay, first of all, of course he's "inhumanly patient". He's NOT HUMAN.
2. His secret power is that...he's an asshole? Instead of working on a "mission" he'll waste week upon week to catch a dude in the act, just to embarrass him?? Who exactly does Zoom Out 25X belong to? The producers of America's Funniest Home Videos?
3. I see now that his name is written in all caps. ZOOM OUT 25X. Normally, anything written in all caps is instantly annoying (25X more annoying?). Except for this.

 

I can't wait til this store opens in San Jose.

DAISO!

Daaaaaisoooooooo!

Brought to us, of course, by the Japanese. Nestled in Redwood City, in a space that used to be a Pizza 'n Pipes. Over 15,000 square feet jammed full of stuff that all costs $1.50. That's right. One dollar and fifty cents. Not a single thing that you really need. But all of it seemingly useful or cute or fun or funny.

Some of my plunder:

• super cute melamine tray with pink apples printed on it
• a swiss army knife-style tool that has spoon, fork, knife and bottle-opener pullouts. I am now equipped for any and all emergency eating
• cards that read "I am hungry!! Give me foods!!" and have a bone parachuting towards a puppy. What possible occasion could there be to give someone this card??
• some of those little vases that look like test tubes
• as pictured above, inflatable gag boobs
• Best. Giftwrap. Ever. - Brown paper sacks with the beginning text of The Little Prince printed on it. Big envelopes with a picture of some kittens and some insane Engrish mottos, and, my personal favorite: elegant white bags that ruminate thusly: True love is like Big Foot...Everybody talks about it, But nobody has ever found it. Don't worry. I'm not gonna sell you to an ear-duster.