Movies of Myself

If You See Light

 

Lately, photography (at least the photography that I love truly, that wakes my mind up, that I am drawn to with moth's wings) is just a never-ending search for light.

Promising Light - Iron & Wine

Wait

One of the most important things that photography has taught me is patience. It's hard enough to conceive the shot you want to get. Taking the time to try dozens of tiny variations in movement, angle and focus in order to actually capture it is another thing altogether. 

 

Because I am much better at starting things than at following through to their completion, the willingness to try and try again for my pictures has come as a surprise to me. I find the whole process almost magical. The little steps forward and back, the still mysterious panoply of camera settings, the slightest adjustments to the lens and then, the shutter clicking while you hold your breath suspended. One photo might be only minutely different from the last, but it will guide you forward along the path.

  

I love the trail of photos you make as you move closer and closer to the picture in your head. And I love the almost unconscious decision to keep going until you get what you want. Focusing the camera has helped me better focus my mind. I edit my writing more, try to be more careful with my speech and have become a little more apt at curbing the wild and dangerous turns my thoughts can take. 

And I have files and files of the shots that I truly wanted.

 

Wait in This Chair - Foreign Born

The Photo Album - 09.05

 

In the past two months I have experienced a very strong sense of satisfaction with photography. This is not to say I think my pictures have improved or that I even love the photos I'm taking, but the whole process has been wonderful. I've had fun planning out shots or just taking advantage of shooting opportunities. I've been pushing the limits of what I can do (which probably means it's time for some new equipment) and trying lots of new little things.

It's been a lot of fun. The 365 project has been, for the most part, easy over the past two months. Most importantly, I am still taking the picture each day that I want to take and not falling into the trap of posting up shots that I think might be more popular. I have unfortunately seen a lot more of that on Flickr than I expected this past year, which is a shame. Don't get me wrong, I know everyone has a specialty and I'm all for that. But it's good to test the waters sometimes, you know.

I feel a change in the air where my photography is concerned. I think the end of the year and the beginning of the next are going to see me taking a lot more chances and doing a lot of things with it that I never did in the past. At least this is what I hope for.

99

 

You guys, excitement! I am this close to achieving one of my photography goals for 2009!

At the end of last year I saw that 51 of my pictures over the past few years had made it to Flickr Explore, their "interestingness" algorithm which I've described before. I know making Explore doesn't say a whole lot, if anything at all, in the grand scheme of photography, and it's not something I ever think about when I'm taking pictures, but it's always a little thrill to see one in there.

So I set a goal on December 31st of 2008 to bump 51 phtos up to 100 by the same time this year. I'd need at least 4 pictures a month to get 49 more. I knew it would be tough, but I thought I could do it. And now I'm just a shot away :)

In the immortal words of Daft Punk, "one more time we're gonna celebrate"!

One More Time - Daft Punk

Heart like a four-poster bed. Heart like a canvas.

A picture, a poem and a song for autumn:

"Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell"
by: Marty McConnell

leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. train your heart
like a dog. change the locks
even on the house he’s never
visited. you lucky, lucky girl.
you have an apartment
just your size. a bathtub
full of tea. a heart the size
of Arizona, but not nearly
so arid. don’t wish away
your cracked past, your
crooked toes, your problems
are papier mache puppets
you made or bought because the vendor
at the market was so compelling you just
had to have them. you had to have him.
and you did. and now you pull down
the bridge between your houses,
you make him call before
he visits, you take a lover
for granted, you take
a lover who looks at you
like maybe you are magic. make
the first bottle you consume
in this place a relic. place it
on whatever altar you fashion
with a knife and five cranberries.
don’t lose too much weight.
stupid girls are always trying
to disappear as revenge. and you
are not stupid. you loved a man
with more hands than a parade
of beggars, and here you stand. heart
like a four-poster bed. heart like a canvas.
heart leaking something so strong
they can smell it in the street.

I Like What You Say - Nada Surf

In Bloom

In all the collective years I've lived in the Bay Area, this is the first that I have been any sort of a regular visitor to Golden Gate Park. There is so very much to see there and I'm kicking myself for not venturing more frequently. I'm making it my goal to explore more of this Bay Area gem. The Park is huge (much bigger than NYC's Central Park) and I haven't seen three quarters of it. I had a photo outing at the Park this past week and it was a cool 58 degrees Fahrenheit, overcast but still quite bright. It was my first trip to the Conservatory of Flowers and Dahlia dell. This meant a day of gorgeous, sultry bloom. Cue pic spam:

Remind me never to move to the Rainforest. One big wing of the Conservatory was devoted to Orchids of the Americas and, while the flowers were an astonishing site to behold, the Conservatory has to keep these buildings at a humidity level of about 95%. These purple orchids haven't been watered. It's condensation and like, pure flower sweat. I cannot even express the mortifying havoc wreaked upon my head in this greenhouse. By the time I'd had my fill of photos, it looked like someone had replaced my hair with a a scale model of an Egyptian pyramid made out of cotton candy. But it was completely worth it.

Seriously lovely and exotic things in there. I'm saving up for some new lenses and once I have them I'm going back with a vengeance. Orchids of the Americas will have no freaking idea what hit it.

After the steam room Conservatory I walked to the nearby Dahlia Garden. Did you know that the dahlia is the official flower of San Francisco? I didn't before visiting the Dahlia Dell. Heck, I had no idea this garden even existed and that there were so many varieties of this flower, every last one of them showy, glorious and shockingly beautiful. The Dell is not large by any means, but it makes up in splendor what it is lacking in size.

What a lovely surprise it was to see a garden in full bloom in the fall. What a happy, hopeful thing.

The Photo Album - 09.04

The most important thing I learned about photography over the past couple of months was not to take photos. It all started with the Death Cab show at the Hollywood Bowl on July 5th. Since I was already carrying a full picnic basket of delicioso KFC, I left the DSLR at home and just brought my sister's point and shoot along. Pretty early on I somehow got it stuck on some weird macro mode and realized that I could spend a bunch of time trying to figure the thing out and the rest of the time taking pictures or I could, you know, actually watch and listen to the awesome show instead. I put the camera away for the duration of the evening and had a fantastic time. I got SO much more out of the concert than any picture of it could've captured.

And so I started leaving my camera at home in July and August from time to time. I still love my food photography but isn't it so much more important to focus on the company and conversation at dinner than it is to make sure I get a kicking shot of dessert? And sometimes it's great to get straight to eating instead of setting up and shooting a tabletop food photo. I figure I can just get a picture next time I cook something. Now it's time to actually enjoy what I cooked.

Not toting the camera around has also done wonders for my back and I enjoy that, too. I didn't realize how much it was hurting me physically to carry around my kit all the time. I still see great photo opps everywhere, constantly, but I know there will always be another opportunity. Even when I do have my camera, more often than not now I'll take a few pictures at the beginning of an outing or event and then just tuck the D60 away, whereas before I would've taken forever trying to get the perfect shot. Because the thing is, there will always be a better shot.

When I actually see and experience things with the camera of my eye, it widens my horizons more than the most expensive photo equipment ever could. When I'm actually talking and laughing with someone it makes our surroundings beautiful in a way that nothing in Photoshop could ever approach. And when I see how everything connects and how the world around me spins around with a billion details that the camera can never come close to capturing, I truly believe it makes me a better photographer.

Every now and then, nothing wrong with a rose view.

I have such a wild tendency to squeeze in as many extraneous details and overembellishments in almost everything I do, that it is a almost physical joy and relief to me when I can stop and appreciate something simple for the absolute wonder that it is. Something fleeting and usually overlooked. Something real.

Out and About

Just some photos I've taken lately :) Mostly in and around Golden Gate Park and the Palace of Fine Arts.

Who indeed?

A close-up of the skeleton in a closet at The Exploratorium. I wonder if this is a real skeleton and also how skeletons for sale and display come to be. Do you have to specify with anyone that you would like to be a public skeleton? Does your family donate you? Inquiring minds want to know, skeletons.

Alas, most of my pictures of the Palace turned out cruddy. It was impossibly bright and I had no lens hood. In retrospect, it would've been a perfect day for my Polaroid. And in retrospect, I rather like this one shot.

I was lucky enough to see Ruth Asawa's sculpture exhibit when it was first at the de Young Museum a couple of years ago. Some permanent pieces remain and they are magnificent. As you can imagine, the shadows they make are almost as wonderful as the sculptures themselves. They're placed in the hallway leading to the Observation Deck elevators.

Here's one I took from said Observation Deck. You can see some of the most amazing views of the city from up there and I'd encourage anyone, visitor or resident, to go and sit and walk and look around in the de Young Observation Tower. The entrance is separate from the rest of the museum, so it's free to see any time and it's certainly worth the time.

Opposite Day

I've taken a fair number of pictures in the past few days. And, of course, I've taken an avalanche of photos over the last couple of years for Picture a Day. So please understand how much love is involved when I tell you that this was a heavy and instant favorite amongst all the pictures I've ever taken. For reals I am considering printing and framing this baby.

This duck is great. "Hello, world," he says. "I've had quite enough of you so I'm just gonna chill like this for a while. Alright, thanks. Carry on." Totally feeling you, duck.

I've got a thing for ducks in general. It's a symbiotic love/hate relationship. Ducks like to follow me around, which is rather disconcerting. Stop it, I say, stopit ducks. Then in April, Judy and I saw an enormous duck alternately flapping and napping in a handicapped parking space right outside of Clover Bakery. I rolled down the window and yelled at it, "Hey, duck! What do you think you're doing, duck? How r u?? What's up with you, duck??" It stared angrily back, but did not budge an inch.

The Photo Album - 09.03

During my last 365 project summary post, I fretted over the low, sad state of my interest in photography. So imagine my surprise when my photo love peaked again soon thereafter and i threw myself back into the hobby with gusto. A couple of things happened. The end of spring and the start of summer came and, with them, a whole slew of bright and inspiring colors were all around me. Also, I started to cook more again.

Instead of searching out a bunch of new and unusual subjects or places to capture, I reapplied myself to the things I know best: food photography and vivid still lifes. I've had the most success with these in the past, but you can always learn more and try harder. I focused more on food textures and on focusing with light. I used fewer props, preferring to showcase my chosen items with balanced placement in simpler settings. Restraint is not my strong suit, so these were all very important exercises for me.

What's in line for the next two months? I think I'll try to venture back out for some more photo outings before the weather cools down again. Since this is the first year I actually like summer, I'd love to take some shots that really capture the season for me. I can't wait.

The World Through Your Eyes

Besides working harder on my photos again lately, I am more inspired than ever by the pictures I view. Here's just a few of my flickr favorites from the past week:

1. Paper Doves, 2. P060409PS-0080, 3. 158/365, 4. kawaii stuff inside my bag, 5. Road of no return., 6. Sternotherus minor hatching, 7. so i organized my bookcase, 8. Mobile Suit Gundam, 9. They'll Soon Discover, 10. Hello Kitty wears glasses!, 11. saturday night, 12. hydrangea blooms!!!, 13. 14/365 june gloom, 14. Untitled, 15. (H)overpass 3, 16. The Ride of Your Life, 17. The Pit, 18. The view from up here, 19. The Crash, 20. Parade

I swear photography makes me feel like I am surrounded by geniuses, madmen and saints.

Appearances

I've been quite fascinated by photo editing lately. I haven't picked up the skills to do anything too far out there, but I am intrigued by how much even very subtle changes in color and light can alter what a picture is saying. I've started working a bit with textures again as well, and plan to spend the next week seeking out a few more. I know it's all too easy to fall into the trap of extreme overediting and pretty soon, all your pictures have the same tone, the same expression. I like to think the overall variety of my subjects is random enough to save me from that and, sometimes, photoshopping is just very satisfying. Here's some before and afters for pictures I've altered recently:

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We Went to the Zoo

Last weekend we went to the zoo for Mother's Day. The zoo is always a big mix of fun and heartbreak. We used to have annual passes and went all the time, but we hadn't visited in about 6 or 7 years at least. It was hot, the sun burned like a bastard and we had cherry Icees. Mom had more energy than Audrey + me X 900. Had a blast, took lots of photos:

Oh hi, prairie dogs. You guys are greedy and belligerent. And you are also the funniest animal at the zoo, by far.

This family was very cool and stately.

These two gibbons were so sweet. They were utterly inseparable and stuck this close to each other the whole time we watched them; getting food together, swinging around side by side, peeing together. Yep. But seriously, you see what I mean by heartbreaking, no?

Meerkats are the bomb. G's up.

Instant Karma

Participating in Polaroid Week was a good idea. I was looking to renew my photography enthusiasm and I do believe it worked. I took time to sort through my big, dumb archive of Polaroids (most of the shots I have are mess-ups or drunk shots) and I took a bunch of shots throughout the week, too, and it was SO much fun. I took some cool Pola shots at the zoo over the weekend and this whole past week has inspired me to keep working on my instant shots through the rest of the year. I was talking with C about how Polaroids really captures the excitement and surprise that photography seems to have lost, now that most people have made the leap to digital photography. We reminisced about picking up a developed roll of 35mm and laughing and gasping over the shots. You get that same feeling when that Polaroid pops out of the camera and everyone leans their head over it, waiting to see what appears like magic.

The Photo Album - 09.02

I started the second two months of the Picture a Day project with a bang. I was really motivated with my daily photos and envisioned, planned and executed lots of fun shots. I'm still pretty happy looking back at my March and April shots. I think I learned more about scene setting and also about smart editing. But somewhere along the way I got kind of caught up with life and things have really started to dwindle.

I worry about May and June, because my level of enthusiasm for photography has dropped quite dramatically in the last couple of weeks. This is both good and bad. I've still got 2/3rds of this photo year to go so I hate to lose focus so early in the game. On the other hand, I've been listening to tons of great music, reading like a fiend, working on my writing and designing and crafting a lot more lately. I can't be too sad about that.

Today marks the start of Polaroid Week and I plan to pick up some 600 film and get on that. Here's hoping it will brighten up the way I see things and breathe some new life into this project.

I liked curtains and eucalyptus.

"Early, we heard new birds in the weightless darkness, a velvet envelope, we lost sense of the words of fingers and lashes. The birds we called villagers, accidents, birds.

I liked curtains and eucalyptus. Lights in the rain. But skin and hair in their ceaseless adjustments become green hills, a warm ocean, complete, round horizon. I floated the way a heart floats in a body, the way life is buoyed by the blood without difficulty or rest; played with slight motion, once with the hand of a doll or toys I pulled near to me in fever, now the underside of your arm where the flesh is thin and hot, stems, watered silk, polished bannister. It isn’t all of love but beauty.

The marvel of glass and water. Siren, storm, footstep. Music and pictures. How all things change inside a person, settle and ride."

-Killarney Clary

Just felt like posting something pretty :) Hope all y'all have a lovely and relaxing spring weekend.

The Photo Album - 09.01

Things I've learned from the first two months of Picture a Day 2009:

• Nikon D60 + stock lens = bad macro shots
• Early winter nights mean I try to take most of my photos in the morning before work 
• That means I take a lot of breakfast pictures
• Balloons are a lot of fun to photograph
• I need to keep shooting from the hip. I like the element of surprise.

2008 Year In Pictures

1. stuff and things, 2. I baked madeleines from scratch!, 3. when i woke up i was in a forest, 4. everything in its right place, 5. golden raspberries, 6. run down, 7. silly love songs, 8. i <3 sharpies, 9. torta cubana, 10. princesses, 11. falling into the ocean, 12. this is love: to fly towards a secret sky

The last couple of weeks I've been debating whether or not I should participate in a 365 Photos/Picture a Day project on Flickr for 2009. I want more than anything to focus on writing next year, and 365 can be really time-consuming, not to mention there's days where you're too lazy or sick or heartbroken or just plain busy to even think about taking a picture. But you know you have to anyway.

Then I started putting together this 2008 photo mosaic, picking out one favorite picture for each month, and I realized that I have learned an astounding amount about photography this year. I've learned about framing, lighting, focus and all that good stuff. But, more importantly, I've learned to try to communicate better through pictures. I have learned to challenge myself continuously and I have made the most AMAZING friends. None of this would have been remotely possible without the dedication and practice that 365 provided. And I don't want that to stop.

I am so very grateful for a remarkable year in pictures and looking forward to seeing and shooting 2009. Bring it.

Explored

How fun is this? A random picture I took of office supplies made it to the front page of flickr Explore last week. The quick summary for non flickr users: Explore is a compendium of the 500 most "interesting" (according to a site algorithm) shots of the day. You don't indicate to them that you'd like your pictures considered. There's no rhyme or reason to the algorithm used, but there's some freaking awesome pictures picked, so I was stoked. My pictures have been plucked by Explore a few times previously, but I've never been on the front page before. I think the photo peaked at the #5 position for the day. What does this mean? Nothing, really. I see beautiful things on the site and I love the community. And it inspires my imagination. If this is a small indicator that my picture takin' is improving, then that kicks butt. :)

I Turn My Camera On - Spoon

The Year in Pictures

   

      

 

 

   

It's a strange and amazing thing to look over 12 whole months worth of Flickr and pluck a photo from each month. "That happened this year???", I kept asking myself. I had forgotten so many little things. My enjoyment of photography has grown by leaps and bounds in the past four months or so after I finally figured out and connected with my little pink camera. I think 2008 will be the year I finally invest in a DSLR and see where it takes me. Not that you need a really fancy camera to truly capture the essence of, like, deep-fried Coke. But it can't hurt.