Sometimes a song will reach out and grab you by the wrist years after you first hear it, as if it was simply waiting for the right time to plead its case again. Usually it's a sad song, and that's okay. I do love a good howler.
Frightened Rabbit's 2010 album The Winter of Mixed Drinks is the bleak gift that keeps on giving. It's a breakup album, as deeply and beautifully miserable as the best of them. I keep it close because the lyrics paint the story of depression to a T, and it's nice to have someone articulate those emotions whenever my voice doesn't work on its own.
From time to time a song from this record will creep into my head and I'll revisit the whole wretched houseful. They don't make me sad anymore, but I appreciate them. They're so poignant and honest, and I love them more and more each year. Tonight, it's "The Loneliness and the Scream" that has me in its grip.
Am I here? Of course I am, yes!
All I need is your hand to drag me out again.
It wasn't me. I didn't dig this ditch.
I was walking for weeks before I fell in
to the loneliness, oh the loneliness.
And the scream to prove to everyone that I exist
in the loneliness, oh the loneliness.
And the scream to fill a thousand black balloons with air.