Movies of Myself

And to think I was angry at first when they closed Circlevision.

 

To be completely honest, it's almost scary how good I am at Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters. You want to be me, but you can't be me.

Okay, off to write a petition to have Astro Blasting recognized as an Olympic sport.

In which there is pain and more pain.

The drive back from L.A. has officially wrecked me.

My neck feels like someone stuck it into one of those arm squeezer machines which measure your blood pressure in the pharmacy department at Wal Mart. My shoulders feel like someone buried a treasure chest full of cement blocks between them and then threw the key to the bottom of the ocean where a giant squid ate it and later got blasted to bits by a Russian submarine with a crew of lepers that was forced to watch fourteen back-to-back episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond. With no bathroom breaks. 

Also, I was too neck spasmy to stop and buy foods, so there's only Count Chocula and on-the-verge-of-spoiling Lactaid up in this bitch. So, what I am saying is that I am going to distract myself by licking a candy apple and reading a book about killers before I quietly wail myself to sleep.

I just love Hot Cheetos!

Three years ago I heard a recording of an NPR's All Things Considered piece about a snack craze that was sweeping elementary schools across the nation: Flaming Hot Cheetos. 

I approached the segment with interest because my younger sister and all of our cousins absolutely adored Hot Cheetos, and had been mildly obsessed with them ever since their appearance on the junk food scene. If you arrived at one of our family events with a bag of Hot Cheetos in tow, you would immediately be crowned king, surrounded by a bunch of cranked up nine year old cheeseheads trying to wrest the goods from you. The Pod once ate so many so quickly that she flamin' red hot barfed as a result.  

I personally never quite saw the appeal of these things. Regular Cheetos are swell, but there was something about the artificial vinegary spiciness and the insane devil red of the Flaming Cheetos that is just off-putting. I did buy a bag for the kids to snack on before Trick or Treating this year, though, after listening to a KROQ morning show with Kevin and Bean discussion about the Hot Cheetos phenomenon.

Kevin and Bean have zeroed in on one particularly amazing sound bite from the NPR report:

Hot Cheetos - Unidentified Kids

Oh my god. I am obsessed with this clip. I downloaded it to my cell phone and I cannot stop listening to it over and over. "When I eat Hot Cheetos, I feel crazy."I wish I loved anything half as much as these kids love Hot Cheetos. 

Google Wave

Our Googlelicious friend was nice enough to grace Jen and me with invitations to try out Google Wave last week. We really like what we've seen so far, which is just the tip of the iceberg where this service is concerned. So what is it exactly? In the words of my sister: "extra fancy instant messaging" with each conversation, or each wave as Google refers to them, stored in an email-type system. So the waves can be real time, or people can add to them as they please. Two people can wave together or dozens of people can collaborate on a conversation. I'm horrid at explaining new technologies so some screen shots might serve us better:

The first thing that came to my mind when I started using Wave was that it would be very nice for talking music. And as you can see we've exploited this already. But I'm envisioning something like a group of people listening to Whiskeytown songs and discussing Ryan Adams' progression as an artist. Bad Boy remixes of Whiskeytown songs, of course.

The other thing I find quite useful is the ability to perform Google searches and then incorporate the results (images, video, websites) directly into the messages. There's an array of tools like polls, maps, conferencing utilities, etc. available, too, and a whole slew of open source apps on the way. Should be fun!



Two other features I also love: tags and threads. Each of the wave conversations is actually split up into individual waves which can be threaded out as long as you need. I do adore tags. For their searchability and for amusement. And our friend joined our wave the next day and was able to respond to each section of the conversation she wished to address. She voted "Yes", by the way. 

I can't wait for Google to process the invitations I was allotted to send. It will be rad to share multimedia of hot soup with more of you!

I wish I was little bit taller.

"I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller,
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her.
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a six four Impala."

I stayed with Kerry, John & Leonidas this past weekend and had an awesome time. Even though I think this little guy is really growing up way too fast.

Miss you already, pupcakes.

I Wish - Skee-Lo

Working For The Weekend

It has been quite a week. This goes without saying, but say it I will: thank the gods it's Friday, guys.

via ysosrsjen.tumblr.com

State of the Blog

I've been thinking a bit lately about this site and what it's for. Over the past year I've finally gotten into a nice rhythm with my posting, and writing here is as fun as it's ever been. I do realize that this blogomatron is an exercise in id and ego satisfaction. I guess it's mainly for me to say certain things to myself. Ironically, as I've realized this, the site has become less and less personal, but really that's a good thing for all of us.

I've had a couple of people ask me why I don't turn this into a full on music site, since that's what I ruminate on most often these days. And seriously, I've thought about it. Quite a bit. More than once I've almost thrown my hat into the Hype Machine ring and just gone for it. Music sites get preview copies of albums. They get breaking news, artist exclusives, interviews and all sorts of exciting stuff. But as much as I love, love, love music, something's always held me back. I read a ton of music blogs and, while I admire their work and rely on them, I just don't want to get caught up in the rat race of music blogging. I want to share the music I that I care deeply about and that's it. I don't want to throw out three line posts just because something new has leaked and I'll be trampled in the music blog dust if I don't mention it.

I've also had a few people ask why I don't whip this thing into a food blog. I guess my constant willingness to drive an hour and a half each way just to eat a slice of pizza or buy an ice cream cone, not to mention things like flying halfway across the country to eat a dinner, indicate that I should be writing about all things edible more than I do. And trust me, I know I should be foodblogging more, too. I'm testing an average of 2-3 new recipes a week now and I'm still always on the lookout for the next good restaurant. I adore talking about food. Plus, food blogs get mega gifts. Dang, dude -- I want some free bacon salt. I'd love to come home to a complimentary box of cookie stuff. But, and it pains me awfully to admit it, I'm not quite passionate enough about food blogging to take Movies of Myself in that direction. I'm still at least one slice short of a food blog pie.

Pus i can't give up all my other random vices. Photography now, of course. Hello Kitty products. Dresses from Anthropologie. Nintendo reviews. Your mom. Sudden candy-inspired monologues. Blinged-out displays of what a BAMF I am. You know, stuff and things.

So I guess this site will have to remain as it's been, a clear reflection of myself: jack of all trades and master of none. I've made a couple of tweaks in celebration of this. For anyone reading through RSS, I've got a new page banner for the first time since like Bill Clinton was still in office. And I've added a search box widget in the columns, so you can more easily hearken back to the high points of my life (i.e. Tale of the Lost Jamie, The Time We Almost Perished in the Floods or Imagined Diatribes Against Racists).

Cheers and thanks for reading.

All I ever needed, all I ever wanted. Too dumb to surrender.

Things I love today:

1) Vietnamese coffee popsicles - I know some of you pretty well. So I know you love popsicles. And I know you love coffee (especially the heart attack-inducing Vietnamese kind with the condensed milk, oh my god condensed milk, mmmmm.) Together, babies? Heaven. Get yourself some cheap ass ice pop molds, buy a couple of coffees to go (or brew your own) and go to town.

2) This:

3) And this. Oh my goodness, I LOVE this:

4) Baked Cheetos. They are every bit as good as regular Cheetos. And that's really damn good.

5) Fricking KOL, whom I simply cannot get enough of today. Deep and abiding love for them.

Arizona - Kings of Leon

Safe Passage

For the past few weeks I have been eagerly following the adventures of Zac Sunderland after reading a cover article about him in ESPN Magazine.

Sunderland set off in his 36 foot sailboat, Intrepid, from Marina Del Rey a little over a year ago on June 14, 2008. He was attempting to set a record for being the youngest person to sail alone around the world. He was 16 years old.

These circumnavigation stories fascinate me. Because, while most of my brain understands that I would suffer a pathetic death on day three of such an undertaking (I know nothing about ships and can't even swim) there is a part of me deep in my heart that can imagine no greater peace, freedom and illuminating happiness than to be on the deck of your own ship, a thousand miles from anyone, watching stars shoot across an infinite sky. It helps that I have always embraced the benefits of solitude.

But at one point on this journey Zac Sunderland spent 34 days alone at sea. Even at my grumpiest I can't fathom going over a month without seeing another person. It would drive most any of us crazy, I think. At 16 it would've done me in under no uncertain terms.

In the past year, Sunderland has dealt with night after night of aloneness. He has been followed by pirates, hit by rogue waves, nearly been crushed by huge freighters and he's kept himself busy with schoolwork, video games and you know, not dying, all the while. He has suffered and thrived through a ceaseless number of equipment failures and sudden changes in currents and weather and he has made friends and come to know himself in a way very few of us ever can.

And in just a few days, on Thursday, July 14th, Zac Sunderland will sail back into port in Marina Del Rey, completing his thirteen month journey of a lifetime. Awesome.

Evil that just does not exist.

So I'm sure most of you (at least those in the U.S.) have heard by now that the California Supreme Court decided today to uphold Proposition 8, the ban against gay marriage. I read this news at lunchtime and it has frustrated and upset me all day to no end. Though I am not surprised, every time I think of it I get so sad I want to scream and cry at the same time.

I've not written much about political, spiritual or moral beliefs and issues here. It's just never quite fit with the tone I'd like to maintain on this site and besides, I'm okay with people believing what they want. But I just can't let this pass by without a word.

Personally, I find it absurd to even try to label homosexuality as something wrong. I firmly believe that sexual orientation is not something we choose and so I would feel overwhelmingly strange blaming someone for it, finding them somehow guilty or sinful of a quality that they are born with, that fundamentally cannot change.

I just cannot fathom looking my gay friends in the eyes and telling them that I believe I am a morally superior person to them. I can't imagine saying that they do not deserve the same rights as I do, that their love and their relationships aren't as good as mine. Tell them that they aren't equal to myself as humans?? How and why?

I think perhaps Paul Newman puts it best:

I’m a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being… by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.

I Was Married - Tegan & Sara

Hot, Hot, Hot

What the fuuuuuu???

Really?

This is not right. This is why I left L.A. Temperatures over 85 degrees unsettle me, make me lose my cool (snap!) Especially right now when I have spring allergies that give me strong headaches.

It's a bad combination and that's the whole point of my griping. A day like this is okay in August, maybe even in July. But in April? Sucks.

And yes, I let her stay for the actual midnight dvd release.

Okay, so Friday night my sister and I went for awesome burgers and then we went to browse around at Borders for a bit. She got mega absorbed in a volume of the best of Where's Waldo and I decided to read the entirety of the Tales of Beedle the Bard. Of a sudden, over the store loudspeaker, we heard them announce the commencement of the Twilight dvd release party special event upstairs. We looked at each other in amusement and headed up to the second floor.

First up in the evening's festivities -- a trivia question scavenger hunt. "Let's try it," I said. "We've both read the books and it can't hurt." I figured we had no chance at all against the other people there, dozens of rabid teenagers in full-on Twilight gear. All girls, of course. The only dude Twilight fan we've ever heard of is our mom's tailor's ten year old son. Audrey and I took our time wandering around the store with the question sheet, trying to remember different parts of the book, changing our answers, even stopping to browse things that had nothing to do with the contest. The Pod answered about 75% of the questions and I piped in with the rest and she goes to turn in the sheet. A few minutes later she walks up to me in the cd section, laden with chocolates and movie paraphernalia and announces, "Oh my god, we won third place." We proceed to laugh our asses off. Booyow.

See what works with harems

An open letter to Anthroplogie:

Okay, I am crazy in love with most of your wares, so I would forgive you many things. But after nursing an increasingly discomfiting cough and runny nose all weekend, piled on top of what is at least the fifth or sixth night in a row where I wake up for no reason every couple of hours, let me tell you: you have wronged me. This is the last thing on earth I want to see in my inbox when I get up:

Harem pants? Dude, what the fuck? People do NOT start wearing these, okay? Please. For my sake (and your own), do not.

More Than Ever

I have been super obsessed with this idaft Daft Punk soundboard thing for the past 24 hours.

It has even distracted me from my previously obsessive dreams of moving to the Arctic and setting up a muskox ranch.

I feel like I can use it to actually become a Daft Punk bot. This is how I envision it going down:

--I will start talking less and less.

--If you know me, you're probably openly scoffing at the possibility of my talking less, but I think I can do it.

--I will start passing out fresh-baked scones and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - Crunchy. This will definitely distract from newly quiet me.

--I will start expressing myself through the Daft Punk soundboard, progressively increasing its usage until it is my exclusive means of communication.

--In my head I mostly envision this as having it say "more than ever" a thousand times a day.

--Which is what I will just start doing, at work, at home, etc. Daft Punkness. Hour. After.

I woke up at 3:30 in the morning yesterday

I woke up at 3:30 in the morning yesterday to the sound of pouring rain and I was like...yes, yes y'all. Don't stop, get it get it, tomorrow is going to be the rulest. Then I fell back asleep and had a long, weird dream about refreshing the same web page and getting a different 404 message for, like, seven hours. And of course it only sprinkled semi half-heartedly all day. Still, any rain is good. So very good. My L.A. peeps report that it "poured like hell" there today, but I'm sure it will stop right when I get there this weekend. Or not? Yeah, keep it up rain!

Other things I liked so far this week:

• crying drama on American Idol
• Mirage chocolate bars from Canada
• when someone is having an instant message conversation with you and they use so many smiley face emoticons that i start saying "what the, what the, woah" under my breath every 30 seconds
• waking up at 7 a.m. on the dot the last three days without the help of an alarm
• Futurama
• Cakewrecks - which I find insanely funny. i laugh so hard when I look at this that it's almost embarrasing.
• beiing 2 legit 2 quit
• this beautiful song: This House We Built - Xylos
• the fact that, somehow, some time in the past few weeks, I unwittingly changed my computer screensaver to a black screen with a silver Apple logo and the giant words "Rebecca Tran's Computer"

and also this:

marriedtothesea.com

Promise? Okay.

New Year's Resolution #6: Visit marriedtothesea.com much more often.

So wake up, make up some new song again around the same tune.

A picture, a poem and a song for winter:

Tree
by: Jane Hirshfield

It is foolish
to let a young redwood
grow next to a house.

Even in this
one lifetime,
you will have to choose.

That great calm being,
this clutter of soup pots and books-

Already the first branch-tips brush at the window.
Softly, calmly, immensity taps at your life.

Song Of Our So-Called Friend - Okkervil River

Lazy

Okay, can someone just please declare it National Stay In Your Pajamas and Sit In The Sun Reading To Your Turtles Day?  Thx.

Easy Does It - Bonnie Prince Billy 

Clumsy

Things I knocked over today with my new (larger than I'm used to but totally awesome) purse:

• two heads of organic broccoli

• a stack of books about world religions

• an unfortunately open bag of Chewy Lemonhead & Friends

• a leaning tower of Trader Joe's brand Airborne

• your block

• maybe your mama's block, too

Yes We Can

Most of my family members and I voted early this year and I'm sure it's not hard to guess whose ring we've thrown our hats into:
 
Next Tuesday is the big day, you guys! I can't believe Election Day is finally rolling around. I'm chock full of excitement and we've all been abuzz with debate and discussion. Here in California, Prop 8 (the measure to ban legalized gay marriage) is generating as much talk as the Presidential race so I'm anxious to see how that turns out, too.

I'm not telling you how to vote but, if you are a U.S. citizen, I hope that you will. I've taken the liberty of embedding an encouraging video which I have been dying to post for years. I don't like to embed much, but this one's worth it. In the immortal words of fake P. Diddy, "get your big ass in the polling booth!"

Pastimes

Things I've been doing too much of:

1. Think about Halloween. What with Nicky-Nacks' first birthday coming up (he's having a pumpkin-themed party) I've got Halloween on the brain. Neatorama is doing a great series with fascinating trivia about scary movies.
2. Eat sweets. My friend Cesca sent me the awesomest milky caramels from Germany--soft, chew and crumbly. Yummm. And I've had fancypants cupcakes from Palo Alto two days in a row, from Kara's and from Sprinkles (gracias, Patrick & Judy). 
3. Run stairs and do push ups. See item 2.
4. Watch TV. I watch actual tv. I get shows on Netflix. I'm addicted to Hulu. Shows I watch regularly: House, Bones, CSI, Heroes, No Reservations, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Chuck, The Office & Project Runway.
5. Read about cheese.
6. Ignoring the laundry.
7. The TV thing. Seriously. Other shows I watch regularly: It's Alway Sunny In Philadelphia, Fringe, After Hours With Daniel (Jen & Ryan, holla!), Unsolved Mysteries, Pushing Daisies and Life. Oh, Life. I discovered this offbeat detective show a couple of months ago and now I'm hooked.

Damn extended metaphors, I get carried away.

I wish I was funny right now. At times I can be mildly amusing, but this only happens when I am either exorbitantly mean or angry to the point of volcanic eruption. Lately, I have been neither and, while I know this is a good thing, I kind of miss sniping at people.

I decided to add this picture to everything I post this week, because it will automatically make things funny by default. Also because I don't want any bitchassness at all, okay? Don't make me tell you again.

And if you feel like funny, too, here is some very, very funny:

I Picked Out The Best of McSweeney's Lists From The Past Few Months So You Don't Have To!

New Texting Acronyms For The Elderly

Three Things I'd Take To A Desert Island

T-Shirts My Ex-Boyfriends Would Wear In A More Honest World

The Final Standings In A Contest To Create An Emoticon For The Most Seemingly Impossible To Depict State Of Being

Relationship Advice I Might Give, Considering How My Last One Ended

NFL Players Whose Names Sound Vaguely Dickensian, and the Characters They Would Be in an Actual Dickens Novel (2007–2008 Regular Season Edition)

...---...

My Year In Lists - Los Campesinos!

Striking the other with an 8-inch sausage.

The local police blotter has been dreadfully boring as of late. The only captivating bit was when someone covered a car in eggs, syrup and whipped cream a couple weeks back. However, this SF Chronicle article that Nikki sent me yesterday morning more than makes up for everything.

(09-08) 04:00 PDT Fresno --

  Fresno County authorities have arrested a man they say broke into the home
of two farmworkers, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a
sausage before fleeing.
  Fresno County sheriff's Lt. Ian Burrimond says the suspect, 22-year-old
Antonio Vasquez of Fresno, was found hiding in a nearby field wearing only
a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks.
  The victims told deputies they awoke Saturday morning to the stranger
applying spices to one of them and striking the other with an 8-inch
sausage.
  Burrimond said money allegedly stolen in the burglary was recovered. The
sausage was tossed away by the fleeing suspect and eaten by a dog.

Oh god, you guys. A man broke into a house in his pajamas and RUBBED A FARMWORKER DOWN WITH SPICES. This story is pure gold. It kind of makes me happy to be alive.

Explored

How fun is this? A random picture I took of office supplies made it to the front page of flickr Explore last week. The quick summary for non flickr users: Explore is a compendium of the 500 most "interesting" (according to a site algorithm) shots of the day. You don't indicate to them that you'd like your pictures considered. There's no rhyme or reason to the algorithm used, but there's some freaking awesome pictures picked, so I was stoked. My pictures have been plucked by Explore a few times previously, but I've never been on the front page before. I think the photo peaked at the #5 position for the day. What does this mean? Nothing, really. I see beautiful things on the site and I love the community. And it inspires my imagination. If this is a small indicator that my picture takin' is improving, then that kicks butt. :)

I Turn My Camera On - Spoon

Happy Three

My sweet little goddaughter Kristen had her third birthday party last Sunday. Her princess tea was a gorgeous, smashing success! Auntie Marianne is in town and helped out a ton and Auntie Joanne also came up from Orange County and cooked up a damn storm. The decorations and the food were SO impressive. I remember for my sixth birthday I had a Strawberry Shortcake birthday cake and I thought I was hot shit. Well, Kristen had a tower of handmade mini-cupcakes, games, a piñata, a pile of balloons and dress-up costumes. This party was a little girl's dream come true. Check this magic out:

Besides the buffet of kid-friendly food they prepared (including organic mac and cheese and peanut butter sandwiches cut into crown shapes which I could not stop cooing over) there was also an amazing spread for the adults, with things like stuffed mushrooms and prosciutto-wrapped melon balls. Dude! What three year old has prosciutto melon and florentine quichelets at their birthday? Kristen is such a baller.

And I can't believe she's three! Where has the time gone?? At one point she and I ended up sitting alone at a table together, during the very middle of the party. Just like me, she likes a lot of quiet time and doesn't enjoy being the center of attention. It's why we get along so well and it was a lovely little moment to share with her. What a nice day. Everyone had such a great time and she couldn't deserve it more. <3

And when I see you, I really see you upside down.

A picture, a poem and a song for summer*.

Question
by: May Swenson

Body my house
my horse my hound
what will I do
when you are fallen

Where will I sleep
How will I ride
What will I hunt

Where can I go
without my mount
all eager and quick
How will I know
in thicket ahead
is danger or treasure
when Body my good
bright dog is dead

How will it be
to lie in the sky
without roof or door
and wind for an eye

With cloud for shift
how will I hide?

A Lack of Color - Death Cab For Cutie

*I know. It's not warm and bright and ardent like summer should be. But this is my least favorite season, and there are very few moments when I understand it. We are merely tolerant of each other.

Things I Was Good At This Week

• sitting by an open window and breathing in summer
• sitting in the backseat of a convertible. Though my hair isn't as good at this as the rest of me is. Actually, my hair is quite terrible at this.
• eating Goldfish crackers
• walking through playgrounds at night
• being insensitive
• changing my clothes. It's probably taken me thirty minutes to get dressed every morning this week, dagnabit.
• changing my mind. And then changing my mind about changing my mind. And then changing that back and then again. Again and again. Then perhaps over again.
• telling people they look nice today
• thinking about books I want to read and not reading them
• listening to the same stupid playlist on repeat

You Can Come to Me - The Helio Sequence

Debate Exposes Doubt - Death Cab For Cutie

Into the Sunspots We Like Vanish Away

 

So this is what my summer looks like so far. Are you jealous? Well, you should be because I'm jealous of myself, it's so damn gorgeous here. I've got the hots for the beach again and, since it's only an hour drive to this place, I find myself here quite a bit.

Next time I head there I know what I'll be listening to on the way: Summer in Abaddon. Seriously great album for warm weather, sunny days and feeling free, light and happy. Thanks to my recent drunken lie about, I've gleefully rediscovered its merits.

Come on, Pinback already did all the work. They actually put the word "summer" in the title. What? Do they have to come over and press play for you?

3x0 - Pinback

Fortress-Pinback  

What are these songs about? I'm not sure. And it doesn't matter in the least. All I know is that I could listen to them over and over again. And I do. I do.

"3x0" is also one of the songs on the latest incarnation of my Muxtape, if you should require more lazy, soft summery goodness.

But you don’t like it, you love it.

Things I figured out this past week:

• You should NOT throw a glass thermometer into the sink if you don't want it to shatter. I know, I'm like some sort of physics wizard.
• Maru Ichi has a damn tasty cold noodles special available right now. Hiyashi Chuka Ramen + cold beer = a great night. I'll have to go back before summer's end.
• That show on FOX where people are hooked up to a lie detector? It has to be a sign of the apocalypse.
• You can't renew your library books online if someone else is waiting to check them out. Yipes. Here's hoping library late fees aren't too high.
• Need to add this to the "Next time I'm in L.A." list: Moonpillows
• I want this Orla Kiely bag. Want it SO bad.
• But not as much as I want this wooden box of French steak knives. I saw them at Anthropologie a week ago and every day since I've thought of them numerous times. Yes, I am obsessed with a set of knives.
• My Weezer love has been increasingly on the wane since Pinkerton (which, incidentally is available as a full album download right now on Amazon for $1.99. Don't know how long that deal will last but if you don't own it, please for the love of all that is good, buy it. If you don't like it I will so give you two dollars and a sad, disappointed look.) However, there are a few tracks on their latest s.t.a. which I can definitely get on board with. This epic track in particular makes me very happy:

                    The Greatest Man That Ever Lived - Weezer

You get mistaken for strangers by your own friends.

It's funny to me how quickly social energies can run out. I've been pretty busy the past few weeks, traveling about, working on all sorts of projects and keeping constantly on the move physically and mentally. This past week I realized I was getting tired, so I tried to hold on to the last portion of my good energy, hoarding it like a last cup of water on a hot day. But then a couple of personal incidents occurred and they broke a hole in the side of my cup and everything came spilling out quick as a whistle. I could almost physically feel the last bit drip away late Friday night after another Rock Band session (which sucked a little. I have plateaued at the Hard singing level. I don't sing nearly loud or well enough to do well at Expert.) I was suddenly too drained to make even one more word of conversation so at midnight I decided just to walk home. I needed the time by myself.

The last few days it's like I've hit a wall. I just prefer to do little things alone, hoping to recharge the happy batteries. I excused myself from a group of ladies going to see the Sex and the City movie. I've never been a dedicated fan of the show and starting work on some cards just seemed like a better decision. I received two emails about and one verbal invitation to some cherry festival in Sunnyvale. Normally this would be just my cup of tea, but this weekend I chose to take a long run and curl up for some reading instead. Worst of all, on two (almost three!) separate occasions I gave away a pair of tickets to see The National/Modest Mouse/R.E.M. at the Greek. I can't even stomach going to buy groceries, much less wedging myself into a bowl of eight thousand other folks. I just flat out turned my back on two of my favorite band (cheers, R.E.M.)

I feel so conflicted about this. On the one hand, I know this self-imposed solitude will be short-lived so I'm not worried about it. In fact, I think it's kinda nice that I want to spend some time with myself to relax and refresh. I'm glad that I know myself well enough to judge when I'll be bad company and I'm really proud that I'm not forcing myself to go out and pretend that it doesn't feel like work. On the other hand, I know I'm missing out on a lot of fun times plus, frankly, feeling all used up is a little dreadful in its own right. What's making it all so difficult is that I actually do worry about this. And then I get annoyed that I worry about it. And then I get peeved that I'm annoyed. And none of this helps me feel refreshed in the least. And maybe I should work instead on not thinking about this at all. Which I guess can start right now.

I know, how could I NOT choose the Nut Balls.

Things which I can choose from in order to have at least $100 of merchandise in my shopping cart to qualify for free shipping from macys.com (I am currently at $97.46):

• Fiestaware Chili Bowl in Peacock
• Martha Stewart Collection Noel Nut Ball Mix, 2 bags (they're on clearance for $1.24!)
• The Weather Channel Wireless Temperature Station
• Lilly Pullitzer "Pineapple Promenade" Toothbrush Holder
• Conair Sound Therapy Machine including "Thunderstorm" and "White Noise"
  
• Large Solid Milk Chocolate Hen
• Hannah Montana Fashion Doll, comes with microphone
  

I traced my finger along your trails.

I had a long-winded post all ready about my drive down to L.A. this past Saturday. This post was about changing my mind a zillion times about how best to travel. This post talked about farms and forests, wildflowers and wild winds, lizards and elephant seals. The post also discussed, in tedious length, how my decision to take the long, curving coastal route down Highway 1 was an almost ridiculously apt metaphor for the past few years of my life.

But I have brought a great deal of this drive's peace and quiet back with me and I value brevity at present. So all I will say is that the view was like this for hours on end. I must have gasped in wonder hundreds of times. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Most perfect song of the whole trip was this hauntingly lovely track first pointed out to me by Tim (word up!) It makes my breath catch in my throat:

Your Rocky Spine - Great Lake Swimmers

I was lost in the lakes
and the shape that your body makes,
that your body makes.

And the mountains said I could find you here.
They whisper the snow and the leaves in my ear.
I traced my finger along your trails.
Your body was the map,
I was lost in there.

Ten, Nine, Eight and I'm Breaking Away

Upon waking this morning I realized that this day could go one of two ways:

1) I would lament the sudden twenty degree temperature spike that has struck the South Bay this weekend and sleep the rest of the day away or 2) I would, in a ridiculous but much-needed frenzy of activity, complete a slew of tasks that have been patiently demanding my attention for the past couple of weeks.

So far, I've chosen door number two.

• Did a bunch of cleaning and hand-washed some more delicate clothes that can't be run through the washer.
• Pre-ordered a neat Achewood book.
• Researched terrarium designs.
• Made a beautiful salad for lunch.
• Danced around the room to Sun Kil Moon and Sigur Ros.
• Lusted after this mustache rack.
• Started to edit the insane number of photos I took in San Francisco yesterday.

However, I've now spent the entire last hour searching fruitlessly for a missing hard drive and for an apparently non-existent Andy Warhol poster I wanted to frame. It might be time to head back to bed.

The best music for (kind of) getting work done on a Sunday:

Don't Cry Out - Shiny Toy Guns

Le Disko - Shiny Toy Guns

Time to buy mad lottery tickets.

I'm quite the fan of fortune cookies and, since I don't eat much chinese takeout, I'll actually buy a box of them every so often at the grocery store. The latest package I picked up at 99 Ranch Market taste pretty good, but what sets them apart is that most of the cookies have multiple fortunes. I got two cookies in a row with four slips in them:

S and I each collected a nice stack of fortunes one morning at work last week, just from having a few of the cookies for breakfast. I have a little vintage tin which I'm trying to fill with fortunes over time and this one package has basically doubled my collection.

"But how do you know which fortune is actually true?" J asked me. "They're all true," I said after a moment's thought. "You have to read them like a story."

The lines that this baking company utilizes are on the unusual side. There was a very specific one instructing me to buy flowers for a good friend the next day. And that fortune about studying revenge? I've gotten it number of times already (kind of weirding me out.) Some very sweet sayings appear, but there's some bizarre things too:

Today I Will Be Happier Than a Bird With a French Fry

Things I am currently obsessed with:

• this etsy print: this is so true! They get so happy! This is an adorable piece.
• The beach:

I'm willing to brave the cold wind of Northern California's beaches right now because of scenes like this. The beach is incredibly soothing; the intense brightness and the sound of the waves combine and eradicate any need to speak or even to think, really. The tides smooth away footprints, memories, everything bad and good, everything you want and need until all there is left is just to be present.

• massages - I know this is a bad thing to get addicted to, but I went to the spa twice last month and it was so indulgent that I'm definitely booking myself another session there soon. Although I prefer all the nice amenities at Burke Williams (ice cold cucumber slices to put on your eyes while you sit in the sauna, yes!) the actual massages at Watercourse Way are much better. I was like begging my Watercourse masseur to move in with me a couple of weeks ago, he was that good.
• Hurricane Popcorn - microwave popcorn that comes with liquified butter and a mix of nori and rice crackers. SO addicting. Jangers and I polished off an entire huge bowl of this between us last Saturday.
• trying not to think about my tooth - I have one remaining wisdom tooth in my mouth, the upper left one, and it is really starting to bug me. I though it had finished growing in. Well, I was wrong. Dammit.
• pajamas - they are awesome! So soft!
• cheesy songs from the 70's and 80's - We've been listening to this great XM station that plays the best tracks. They're nuts about Rod Stewart so he's on numerous times per day. Every day I expect to be sick of it, but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe because they play hilarious and wonderful songs like this: I Go Crazy - Paul Davis

Early to Bed, Not So Early to Rise

Some of you know of my longstanding war against the hellbeast known as insomnia. I try to make mention of it only once in the longest while here because I know how dreadfully boring it is. In summation, many nights over the past twenty years I've wondered if and when I'll be able to rest. So you'd think I would know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I've been sleeping an awful lot lately and it's starting to creep me out.

For the past three weeks or so I've been averaging about 9 or 10 (sometimes even 11, sweet gee that's nearly HALF the day) hours of shuteye a night, which is tantamount to a miracle. I usually start my evening's work at 10 p.m. but now the siren call of bed is heard in my brain at that very hour. The first week of Massive Bedtimes I at least had the decency to get up at seven. Now I stay dead asleep til nine in the morning most days. It's unnerving and I almost want it to stop. I surmise, though, that the recent purchase of new comfy p.j.s and that bedding that is made from t-shirt material is not helping my cause out at all.

"But you feel good, don't you?" J asked me yesterday. "You feel alert even into the afternoons?" That is true. I'm drinking less caffeine now which is good because I am so in love with Blue Bottle coffee that I never want anything else, and I haven't found a place in Santa Clara that brews it. Ever since I had a double-dose of this delicious stuff while making the pilgrimage to Blue Bottle Cafe a couple of weeks ago, I have craved it intensely. I dream of this coffee during my very long hours of sleep. And I couldn't think of a nicer way to spend Sunday morning than to pop up to Fraiche with my Eee PC and enjoy a made-to-order single drip mug of their Bella Donovan blend. Lazy, thoughtful and awake, writing and reading and dreaming; which I think is an almost perfect morning.

Black Coffee In Bed - Squeeze

What's Next to the Moon

So once again I want to alert you all that there will be a total lunar eclipse tomorrow/tonight, February 20th. You can check when the eclipse will begin and end in your time zone at the NASA site.

I love the moon so much and last year's eclipse was an awe-inspiring experience. This will be the last total eclipse of the moon visible for the U.S. until 2010, so try not to miss it! I'm a little worried because heavy rains are predicted for the Silicon Valley tomorrow and the clouds won't help my viewing at all. The partial eclipse actually starts while I'm still at work, but I will try to look up and out as much as I can. Happy eclipsing!

Moon River - Audrey Hepburn

You Can't Make It Up

Tomorrow marks the beginning of a fruitful month for me creativity-wise, as I've signed up to participate in Thing-a-Day 2008.

Each day in the month of February I'll be undertaking at least one small creative endeavor. I've completed so many fun projects this month and I thought it would be cool to keep the flow going. 

Some of the things I've got planned for my daily activities: lanterns for Chinese New Year, softies, Valentine's baking & card making, a photo outing in which the Supersampler is employed, applying some suggested edits to my last batch of poetry, a new collection of kid's birthday paper pieces,  cookies, and a music mix that will make your heart sing.

This is going to be so much fun.

A Week (almost) in L.A.-- The Highlights:

• Cooked a kickass turkey.
• Kerry's Birthday!
• Pistachio Disguisey
• Dim Sum - three times :P
• Bunny
• Shopping in Old Town with Caroline, Sophia and Steph
• hiking with Momo and the Pod up to Monrovia Canyon Falls
• Running into friends I hadn't seen in a year and a half.
• Giant Robot and GR2 finds: King Cat #68, Dre Day 2006 Sticker Pack, some anarchist day planner and a 2K Wasabi tee.
• Museum of Jurassic Technology - I still love this place. The tearoom is especially nice.
• Finished rereading The Amber Spyglass
• Went over the Tao Te Ching again.
• Got all crazy about frozen treats: 21 Choices (god I miss this place), Pinkberry (so fucking good. Even if we had to eat it all leaned up against a store that sells Lakers Santa hats) & Mashti Malone's (just so-so. I can't stand their perfumey flavors.)

Por Toda A Minha Vida

I've begun to fulfill a longtime dream. (How often do you get to say that?) I'm learning Portuguese! Last week I started my mission to work through all three levels of the Rosetta Stone system and so far it's been pretty cool. It will be nigh on impossible to gain fluency just studying on my own, but I think I'll still learn a ton. Maybe I'll just have to travel to Lisbon or São Paulo afterwards.

The desire to learn this language first came to me in high school when Sophia and I used to drive around after school listening to Bossa Nova cassette tapes that our friend Chuck had copied for us. These were probably dubs of dubs of dubs, full of satisfying pops and crackles. We had never heard anything like this before and we fell instantly in love. I wanted to understand what these artists were trying to say. I could feel it, but I needed the words:

Águas de Março - Antonio Carlos Jobim

Insensatez -João Gilberto

Since then I actually attempted Portuguese classes a couple of times, but something always got in the way. Then recently a couple of things inspired me to finally just do this thing already.

I was talking over some unpleasantness with my Brazilian friend Ea; beautiful Ea, sweeter than a sugar lump. 

b: And I couldn't explain myself. She just could not see things that way because she hadn't gone through all that.

e: Of course she would not understand. Pimenta no cu dos outros é mel!

b: What does that mean?

e: Literally it means that pepper in someone else's asshole is honey to you.

b: ....

e: Because she doesn't know how hard it was for you, see? She feels fine, but she didn't face it.

b: But....but. Ea, what does that have to do with putting a pepper in someone's ass???

I decided that I HAD to learn this language :) But on a more serious note, what truly decided things for me was saudade.

Saudade. A word that's almost impossible to translate from the Portuguese but basically describes a sort of hopeless longing for the things which are lost to you. The A.F.G. Bell book In Portugal puts it best at:

The famous saudade of the Portuguese is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness but an indolent dreaming wistfulness.

It reminds me of the feeling you get when you listen to an amazing sad song. It's beautiful isn't it, but the kaleidoscope of feeling it brings, some of that is definitely saudade. Think of your favorite breakup song. That feeling. The Portuguese have a single word that describes that. There's no way I'm not learning this.

Tell me where you've been, tell me what you saw.

Babies, I'm back. Yesterday I had a killer breakfast, drove six hours, said a sad goodbye to a much-loved co-worker and then boozed til one in the morning. This morning I had to get up at seven. Oh sweet sassy molassey, am I back. And I am a bit disoriented, to say the least.

But what an absolutely marvelous week it has been! Just fun and laughter each day, with more good times to come very soon. It's not nearly cool enough to feel like we're more than a month into Fall, so hell was I surprised when someone told me this morning that we fall back tomorrow. Can you believe that? I for one was not at all aware. But an extra hour sounds great to me right now.

Spring and By Summer Fall - Blonde Redhead

Superconnected

I've got a few different activities and projects going on this week which I'm very excited about. Some of them will take me out of town for a few days, so I won't be checking in here, looking at my email or giving you any more kung fu tips til the weekend. Probably.

But I will be sporadically uploading some pre-written posts, mostly detailing some Bay Area restaurants I've visited recently. I wanted to get these out before Sunday's epic meal, so they won't get lost in the fray.

Hope everyone can find a minute to take a long relaxing breath and that all y'all have a great week!

Phoenix c/d

               

Long Distance Call (25 Hours a Day Mix) - Phoenix

Some Kind of Chill - Arizona

Classic

• The shape of Arizona is reminiscent of a Mooninite. Of course, Arizona is basically just a big square, so you might also say it resembles a Rubik's cube, a cherry starburst and a Radiohead cd. These are all fine things! High five, Arizona!
• Sue and Brendan's house rules. It's stylishly decorated and so lovely. And also just like something straight out of MTV Cribs! I should have filmed them describing the contents of their fridge. Seriously, their pool has a bar you can swim up to, if you're pimpin' like that (which they are). And they have a theater room. As in their home has stadium seating. I wanted to leap up at all times and pour a bottle of Cristal on the ground.
• In this home, they are such thoughtful hosts. Example: there were four pillows on my bed, of varying heights and firmness. And bottled water on the nightstand. Come with us, they said, to the land of soft textiles and happiness.
• Extra delicious tapas meal at Sol y Sombra.
• Jan and Helen live there which means omg constant homemade yum goodies wow. Like ice cream and sorbets they're perfecting for their ice cream shoppe. I miss their lime basil sherbet already. And color me impressed: one morning Jan made coffee and before Helen poured me a cup she warmed the mug with hot water first. That's the kind of shit experts tell you to do, but no one ever does!
• Mental Floss. Yours truly remembered that Nunavut used to be part of the Northwest Territories. I am ferocious like a tiger.
• There's cactus everywhere!

Dud

• There's cactus everywhere! (But none that are fifty feet tall.)
• Let's get it over with: it was hot. Like, really hot. Like, when I flew in Friday night it was over 95 degrees at 9 p.m. hot. Coming from the bay area, ouch. We're talking a 30 to 40 degree temperature difference both coming and going. And it's October. Tonight we dine in hell.
• Lack of diversity. As John said, "I've never seen so many white people in my entire life."
• They have automated systems on their freeways that give you a speeding ticket the second you pass the 75 mph mark. What. Up. Also, I didn't see one single MINI Cooper the entire weekend. Not a one. It's as if MINis are banned, which would clearly mean the place is cursed. Is Phoenix...evil? (backs slowly away from Phoenix.)
• A weekend is not nearly enough time to catch up with my friends. I could read Us magazine with Kerry and Sue 4-ever.

Notes on New York

• Getting there was difficult. Obstacles abounded. I connected through Dallas/Fort Worth. Don't mess with Texas.
• I don't mind the subway. Last time I was on it, I fell asleep and dreamt that I was riding the subway.
• We went to the U.S. Open and were watching tennis at 1 a.m. one day. Crazy, I know, but the nice thing is that the fans that stick around into that time of night/day are into it. And if it's a good match, which it was, then there is a layer of distilled excitement over everything which is very rare, and very cool.
• Waited the obligatory 40 minutes for brunch at Balthazar. Had a bellini, placed our orders and then put it a second-thought bid for oysters. The food came first. Ate a piece of french toast, then, gulp, oysters. Then back to the syrup plate. Oysters are the best thing ever and someday I will find a good oyster buffet and consume like 80 of them at once. My brain will explode, but it will be quite worth it. 
• My luggage didn't make it to New York the same day I did. Lost luggage + my changing fetish = continuous internal sobbing.
• There is a lot of shopping to do here isn't there? You know what's frustrating about shopping in a high fashion city? You instantly feel gross, and the outfit you have on, no matter how much you liked it a moment before, instantly transforms into embarrasing rags the second you step into a shop. I swear you could buy a new outfit, put it on, walk next door to another store and hate what you're wearing.
• Went back to Rice to Riches. Saw that there is a Pinkberry two doors down. If they could only build a Beard Papa's in between, this block would be pure heaven on earth.
• Read three slasher crime novels combined on the flights there and back.
• Had a great, great time. 

p.s. Posts will be scarce for the next while. Internet is being a pain in the ass at home.

Start Spreading the News

Chochachos, what is up?

Here's what's up with me. I'm going to New York early tomorrow for Labor Day weekend. I can't really say this snuck up on me because I've known about it for weeks, but damn am I not ready. I haven't even started packing yet. Yipes stripes.

Right now I'm trying  to decide whether or not to bring my computer. I'm leaning towards no, though, so if you don't see or hear from me til next week, that's what's up.

So Morimoto's, Rice to Riches, shopaholicism, here I come.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Continued stories at night.

Much to my everlasting surprise I actually stayed up to watch the lunar eclipse last night. I snuck in a few catnaps between 11 p.m. and 2 a.m. which allowed me to be comfortably watching all the eclipse action at four in the damn morning. The strangeness and the charm of the event stayed with me all day and I wasn't tired in the least.

I don't really know how I could have considered bypassing this for a moment. It all turned out so nicely. The place in the house with the most advantageous lunar view was the window right by my bed. I was able to lie on the cool sheets and witness the full brilliant-white moon turn disquietingly to ash, only to reappear in captivating red-orange fire. I can't quite explain the brain's almost-impression of seeing the sun in the pre-dawn darkness.

I can't quite express the suspended being of lying in a room and focusing completely on the moon falling slowly into Earth's shadow. Everything quiet at 4 a.m. except for the low tones coming from my iPod, including this: If You're Wondering - Eisley

And I thought that I had all that,
that I wanted.
But, boy, was I wrong.
As were you. Now I know.

If the moon shines on you while you're sleeping
it will show you all that I'm feeling.

And if I'm wondering, then you show me.
If you're wondering, I know.

A radial lullaby of a song, perfect for watching a blood moon turning in a summer sky.

Nut Bar

So M tells me that Lucky Supermarket is back. And back with a vengeance. They're re-taking over all the Albertsons stores. Albertsons straight-up got served. "Does that mean they got divorced?" M wondered. "I think so," I replied dolefully. "I never thought they would last."

I always lamented the total disappearance of Lucky's, which is the local store i grew up with, after it got married to Albertsons a few years ago. I don't know if you remember the ads for that. It was obviously a marriage of convenience, produced to mask Albertsons hostile takeover. But they did have a cake.

It's too bad I am so enamored of our newly-remodeled neighborhood Safeway. At first I cursed the refurbishment. The store became massively unorganized and impossible to navigate. It also seemed wasteful. The market was five years old at the most. Why did it need a facelift so soon?

Now I can see why. The new store has a Nut Bar. That's right, a nut bar. A big circular stand where you can choose from a wide array of flavored nuts and even grind your own fresh nut butters. Fresh honey-roasted peanut butter. Fresh cashew-almond butter. You can even fill your own honey bears. And the bread loaves in the bakery section? They've got a deli machine that slices them into whatever thickness you like. There's twelve widths to choose from. It's ridiculous, really.

Bring Your own Bag

Do you guys know they banned plastic grocery and shopping bags at all the big chain supermarkets and pharmacies in San Francisco? This happened back in March and the stores have between six months and a year to get compliant.

I'm not sure how this will affect us down in the South Bay, but I hope that the legislation goes into effect down here, too. I sincerely wish this would become the norm all across the U.S. I switched over to reusable bags at the beginning of June and it's been great. I was afraid that I'd forget to bring them to the store, but I just place them by the door after I unload my groceries and so they're almost always in the car, ready for any impromptu stops I make.

If you're not ready to bring your own bag, I urge you to at least reuse the ones you actually get. I don't think I've bought a trash bag in years. All my trash gets taken out in old grocery bags. We've been conditioned here in North America to the idea that groceries can only be transported in disposable plastic or paper bags, when any backpack or tote will do the job just fine; you don't need to buy something new. But just in case you do want to, and you don't want to throw down a ridiculous $100+ on eBay for the Anya Hindmarch "I'm Not a Plastic Bag" here's some other options:

• Dimpla bag from Ikea:

This is the bag I use and I can't recommend it enough. Oversized, so I usually need just one, two max. Sturdy as hell and wipes clean easily. And they're only $1.50 each!

 

• Envirosax

 

The best thing about Enivrosax besides the gorgeous designs is that they're super portable. 5 of these waterproof bags can be rolled up and stored in a carrying case that can fit in your glove compartment. $33 for the set.

• B. Happy Bags
  

B. Happy makes the prettiest bags! Lots of different fabrics to choose from. Machine-washable. $20-25 each.

• The News Bag from CB2

Recycled newspapers transferred onto recycled plastic, so each bag is a little bit different. The longer strap is also ideal for those who walk to and from the store. $12.95

• World Food Programme Feed Bag

This wonderful burlap tote is reversible and has several handy pockets. But, best of all, it benefits the U.N. World Food Program. According to Amazon, "buying one World Food Programme Feed Bag feeds a child in school for one year". $60 each.

You can do magic.

This might give you some insight into exactly how my mind works.

I'm sitting at a computer. Joel walks up to me.

J: Did you see all the beans?

b: ??

J: I left them here on Monday, when you weren't here.

b: How am I supposed to get the beans if I'm not here?

J: But did you see them yesterday? The beans!

Then he walks away. Turns out he meant a big pound of Tanzanian blend Starbuck's espresso. But until I clarified that, in my mind I was absolutely sure he meant magic beans.

Something to Talk About

Talk about procrastination. I bought these letters to decoupage for Elysa a few months back and finally completed the project last week. It took a while to figure out exactly what look to go for in terms of the paper. She loves the color red right now, but her room isn't super red based. Elysa also loves the color pink and the whole princess theme, but I wanted to make something that she'd like for the long term, too. I finally settled on some papers I found at Scrapbook Territory, from the Penelope's Potpourri collection by SEI. I just wish they'd had the whole set at the store. I enjoy how the bright florals pop, but would like to have paired them with some more subtle patterns.

But it was perfect timing to give Elysa the gift of letters because all of a sudden she's started talking up a storm! I noticed a big difference once she started preschool. She learned a lot of new words and phrases there, and I guess the timing was just right, too. But I just love how Elysa expresses herself. She's funny, demonstrative and rather articulate for a three year old. The way that children speak very much reflects the way they think, much more so than it does in adults. Some of my recent favorite examples of Elysa Talk:

She's got a mind-bogglingly strong memory. As we walked past a hallway with some framed diplomas, she pointed to one whose sheet of glass was missing: "Ohhhh. One time I hit that and I broke it and Daddy was SO angry and he yelled a lot and I cried." The funny thing is, I was actually present when that even occurred. "You remember that?" I exclaimed. I had completely forgotten.

She's very expository. Upon presenting me with a pair of Hello Kitty flip-flops she had hand-picked for me in Taiwan: "See, these have Hello Kitty, so I know you'll like them. They're shoes, and you can wear them." The best part is that Judy had thought the sandals were lost. Apparently, Elysa had squirreled them away amongst her own things so she could give them to me herself :)

She uses Kid Logic, which I love. After I set a paper box of Beard Papa's onto the table: "Auntie Beckie, can I have a Papa's?" "How do you even know what that is??," Judy asked her. Elysa points to the graphic of the pipe-smoking fisherman-looking guy and patiently explains, "He's right there. That's Papa." How great is that.